#still they were really nice as a couple's counselor lol

[yuzuna123]

every woman needs a sassy gay best friend to tell her men problems and girl talk with, and for Aba it's Testament.

[truthorsandwiches]

i usually write these when i’m having a bad day, but todays been alright.

i’ve been making friends at school finally. there’s one girl who sits with me on b day lunch. and this one really short kid in a few of my classes. and one girl who i’ve never actually seen but we communicate through my dad’s whiteboard. she likes ween and tmbg.

i’m trying, like you said. i still miss you every day. so much reminds me of you.

there’s this guy that looks like you in my a day lunch. like, it’s scary how similar you two are. he even has the same haircut from when we first met. he’s just a bit blonder. i’m not sure if he has the same eyes, i try not to look at him.

i was next to him in the lunch line the other day. his voice is deeper than yours. he and his friends were talking about eating ass. i don’t think they’re gay, they were just saying the others liked to as some kind of insult.

me and the guy have met eyes a couple of times. i don’t know. he seems nice, i guess. maybe a bit jock-ish. he reminds me so much of you it hurts.

he wears a few bracelets on his left wrist. one is pink. maybe he has a girlfriend? or he’s gay. not sure.

i walk to and from school now. it’s been hell. it’s really hot. you’d probably make fun of me, saying i can’t handle the heat, but man, it’s like 100 over here sometimes.

sometimes i still think that i’ll come home and have a bunch of messages from you. well, i don’t really think i will. i just hope i will.

i’m still pissed about your discord display name whenever i think about it. seriously, you’re so pissed i knew your name and not even a month later, you change your discord name to dyl? jesus, my counselor was right. jeremy was right. you’re fucking crazy.

whatever. i really try not to think about that too much.

did you get “sam” from sam o’nella? your hair was eerily similar. i wouldn’t be surprised.

i should’ve known your real name earlier. you sent me a picture of something you were working on at school once. you had a google doc open on another tab that said it. i guess i just trusted you too much.

you should watch “suction cup man” i think you’d like it. i think you’d want to fuck him.

skyler got me a little rover plushie, before she abandoned me, i mean. i keep him with me. i still like animal crossing. rovers very comforting.

i still can’t listen to pixies. i wore my pixies shirt today. i’m getting to be more neutral on the shirt now.

you should read “the long walk” by stephen king. it’s really good. i cried a few times. it’s kinda traumatizing tho lol.

i think that’s all for today. see you NEVER

[softdykellie]

okay, i’m too curious to not send an ask about the descriptor thing </3. i’m 5’0, have blue eyes, and long, light brown hair. i would say i’m pretty curvy and slim but not athletic or overly thin, i don’t work out. i’m a lesbian and have a gemini sun, libra moon, cancer rising. i’m really spiritual. enfp is my mbti 4w5 is my enneagram. as far as interests go, i love reading, writing, baking, tarot, and watching horror movies. i’m a cat person too and im lowkey afraid of dogs, i have a scar on my arm from one. i’m not really interested in having kids, i wanna be the cool, artsy, mysterious, milfy aunt <3 and i’d rather invest that time and money in travel or a nice house or assets. my career goal is to be an addictions counselor. i’m experienced in relationships and i’ve been burned so i take some time to open up, i’m also autistic and have bipolar ii. my aesthetic is definitely at a crossroads between masc and femme. my sense of humor either really stupid or some complex, complicated wordplay/reference, no in between lol. my favorite artists are ethel cain and julien baker ‼️‼️ and my favorite flowers are pansies

abby is instantly drawn to you from the second you meet, glancing up at you at every opportunity she possibly has without making it too obvious though she has no idea how to approach you, your head deep inside a book. she scribbled the title with a pen on the palms of her hand and later that night tried to comprehend what the hell it was that she attempted to write, now completely smudged. after a couple of squints and deep thought she remembered and immediately went to buy the book for herself so she would be able to say something to you, planning out in her head the way she’s oh-so-nonchalantly mention good book or i like the part when- and impress you. abby tried to play it stoic with everyone, but in reality she really wanted someone to let her guard down with and whatever fantasy she had created in her mind in ten minutes of considerate staring was too overwhelming to ignore. she loved getting to know you when she finally got up the courage to approach you, this girl would listen to you as though you were sharing the secrets of the universe with every word you said and she must pay attention intently, and she would be so gentle with you as she’s unsure of your feelings, toeing the line between romantic and platonic so carefully as to not scare you away and still have the opportunity to be in your life regardless, though she grows more confident and dominant during your established relationship, used to teasing you and smiling into your kisses

[flockofdoves]

today went a lot better than yesterday for the most part! it became an absolute disaster right at the end though with trying to get them to change back into their clothes in the locker rooms after swimming (yesterday had just used the bathrooms near our home room and that went fine but the combo of them thinking the locker rooms were cool and so many forgetting part of their dry clothing downstairs and the gendered lockerrooms being on opposite sides of the hallway made it so much. but the directors told us to use them now so. well see lol)

i think a lot of it going well did not have all that much to do with solving some of the biggest issues we had the first day (although i def found some small things that helped) though because i think they were just really excited we went outside to play with water balloons and then after lunch went outside to go to the playground and it was a nice day

still could notice the issue of kids saying every group game sounds boring without knowing anything about it and then just sitting off in the corner of the room and then theres not enough kids to play the original game and when we try to switch to one that works the kids just got excited about the first one and so then they might go off on their own too so then its just free play which is fine for a while but then kids get bored that theres nothing to do but dont want to do anything we try to start to fix that. but just didnt have quite as much of that because we went outside (which even the process of just leaving and coming back eats up so much time instead of constant new games lol)

so of course i want to try to go outside at least for one game each day when weather permits (and maybe theyll be more excited to have more outdoor time and also less likely to have locker room issues and also ill have to come up with less to do when the local outdoor pool they usually use twice a day is fixed so we arent using the middle schools pool were based in thats only available in the afternoon) but also who knows if theyll eventually get kinda tired of the novelty of going outside (although i think it at least somewhat helps bc in organized outdoor activities theyre more likely to try them bc they cant just walk to the corner of the room to color instead so they actually try the games and realize they enjoy them) so i also want to make sure to go to other rooms in the middle school we can use to mix things up more and limit diffusion of group activities. but also i think even in those contexts i want to better find a balance between picking the right battles. bc of course like if a couple kids really arent feeling it and are quietly coloring then thats harmless. but a lot of times not participating in group activities means doing a whole bunch of stuff everywhere and making it really hard for counselors to make sure all kids are safe and in the room (but also like even then its probably harmless to the kid but hard on us which is kinda hard to explain to them). so idk maybe ill have a guideline to at least try out activities before deciding whether or not you want to do them (i really respect their likes and dislikes and would emphasize constructive criticism about activities they try out but i do think this is a big part of it considering stuff like how yesterday a girl told her friend during free play that she wouldnt play uno with her because she hates it and then like 10 minutes later to someone else asking something about uno she said shes never played it before and doesnt know anything about what its like or how to play it) or a guideline that during certain times esp when theres less counselors, you either join the group game or draw/write/color quietly at the table right near by but no other active games or wandering. it makes me feel so strict though :(

i also do think maybe i just need to become a more theatrical person so i can get better at selling activities though lol. they got a bit more excited about activities i literally tried to start with them just by one of the directors projecting his voice more and acting a bit more goofy

it really makes me realize the difference in skills with this stuff. i think i do great when theres a decent amount of counselors during free play and i start engaging with kids in small groups playing. the kid i babysat from age 2-8 loved me and always told her parents how much fun she had. but that was play guided by her where i would listen to her and do whatever she wanted as long as it was safe while also proposing new options without forcing them. having like 2 adults to a group of 15 seven year olds makes it really hard toapproach things that way. part of that might be that kids are only just beginning to learn how to be considerate of others in certain ways, part of that might be i need to learn better ways of listening to all of the kids and incorporating that into what we do in a way that largely works out, but i also think part of that is just like maybe were kinda understaffed and also id be curious to learn more about the pedagogy of all this stuff. i think theres so much value in kids being in larger groups interacting with each other but the weird types of control that come with having relatively few adults guiding that both for safety in general but also maybe a lot of just like. liability when we are strangers to these childrens parents providing childcare for a job under capitalism is like. really weird to confront. i feel like a cop but i literally dont know a better way of navigating that aspect of everything within these parameters. curious to see what it could look like in a better world

[joeyjoeylee]

Hey :) can't wait for the final chapter of "both sides of the law"... do you know when do you plan to release it?

( No pressure 😬 )

Hi Anon, this is really nice, thank you! I'm back on my usual bullshit re: angst over word count yada yada yada substantially complete but edit! needed! blah blah, etc. Best case scenario with the holiday weekend I'd say Monday but more realistic scenario (lol) later next week! (Completely pessimistic scenario - I'll tinker with it forever, finger hovering over but never actually pushing the post button.)

In penance for blowing yet another deadline and because I have missed tags for the last couple WIPs tag games - I'm gonna kill two birds with one stone AND also include a snippet (but under a thingie for mild spoilers/sheer ridiculous length).

“Who’d the judge appoint to represent Eddie?” he asked, concentrating on spearing a piece of fish with the end of his chopstick. These little fuckers were so slippery sometimes.

“One of the best litigators in Detroit, even if his practice isn’t primarily criminal,” Gretchen answered, after a pause.

He looked up and made an impatient keep going motion with his chopstick when she paused again. Gretchen actually had the nerve to wince at that as though he was flinging rice all over her pristine oak desk.

She didn’t say anything. Just kept regarding him thoughtfully, in a way he recognized was her trying to figure out the best way to proceed – to try to manage him.

Finally, she closed her eyes for a long moment in resignation, put-upon and martyred, as if this all was just going to be so so very difficult.

“Eugene Katz,” she said at last.

For a second, Rio couldn’t place the name or why Gretchen would say it with such a long-suffering sigh, like she was bracing herself for a reaction from him that was going to be nothing but unreasonable.

Then.

Eugene…Katz?

Katz?

Professor Fucking Katz?

He dropped his chopsticks with a clatter, earning him another wince, and sat back in his seat incredulous.

“You ain’t actually being serious right now, Gretch –” he began, scowling, but she cut him off immediately.

“I know, I know, you had him at school – me too, by the way – and you think he is quote ‘crazy’ unquote, but the fact remains that he’s been litigating almost as long as we’ve been alive. Yes, his practice is predominantly family law but you can’t run a small litigation firm for 30 years without doing your fair share of criminal and personal injury work too.”

He was still shaking his head no. Violently. No. No.

Gretchen narrowed her eyes at him. Then she steepled her fingers together and sat back in her own chair to do battle.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she mocked, pointedly, “I thought we had agreed these kinds of decisions were my department? No?”

Rio ground his teeth. She was right and he hated that.

He’d learned to defer to Gretchen’s expertise and counsel on issues like this. She was the one over at the courthouse every other day, the one who was vice-chair of the Criminal Law section of the Wayne County Bar Association, the one with all the connections with the criminal defense bar, not to mention the prosecutors, the bailiffs, the sheriff’s deputies.

Still, it annoyed the shit out of him to concede to her on this, especially since Gretchen knew exactly how he felt about that lunatic. So even though he already knew he was probably going to end up agreeing, he still made her work for it.

“Yeah?” he lounged back even further in his chair and folded his hands across his stomach, “well, convince me then, Counselor. Lay out your case.”

Gretchen sighed dramatically. Then started to tick off the reasons one by one on her manicured fingers.

“First, it’s not like this is going to difficult for him, the prosecution’s case is mostly circumstantial and it’s just a simple possession charge, a felony, yes, but the most baby felony of felonies,” she held up her index finger for Reason 1, “next, your unreasonable prejudices notwithstanding,” she dropped her index finger and held up her middle finger – Reason 2 – then held it aloft alone for just a beat too long until he snorted, “we wouldn’t be able to find anyone better connected. His ex-law partner from back in the day is Judge Cuccinelli and Judge Berry worked as his associate 20 years ago – they’re both on the bench over there now. And he’s taught at least half the rest of the judges on that court at one time or another, either at school or in continuing legal education classes.”

Rio rolled his eyes. All that all of that proved, in his opinion, was the very sad state of the Wayne County judiciary.

“And Reason 3 – the most important one – juries love him.”

He sighed and shook his head again, but without the heat from before.

“Rio, Eddie’ll be fine, trust me. And it’s not like I’m not going to be involved,” Gretchen’s tone had switched to sweet and conciliatory now that she sensed victory in her grasp, “I’m drafting up a joint defense agreement to be couriered over to his office. We can share thoughts and strategies and still maintain the appearance of separation between our respective clients.”

He knew he’d lost by then but he had to get one last dig in.

“You sure he can handle the workload, Gretch? Ain’t gonna drop dead before we get to trial? He gotta be 100 years old by now.”

It was Gretchen’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Exaggerate much? He can’t be more than 65 or so, and from what I’ve seen in court, still well in possession of all his mental faculties.”

That was a very low bar in his opinion, but he let it go.

Gretchen tilted her head, then leaned forward and put both elbows on her desk.

“Besides,” she said, and it seemed to him that suddenly she was watching him intently, “he won’t be handling it alone. He’s hired a new associate.”

Rio picked his chopsticks and bent back over to concentrate on wrangling his sushi again. He had already exhausted what little interest he’d ever had in talking about Professor Katz.

He expected Gretchen to keep on with her nagging and lecturing and low-key gloating about getting her way.

But there was only silence.

He looked back up to find her watching him still, her chin now resting on one hand.

She looked expectant.

“I bet you’ll never guess who it is,” Gretchen prompted. Her voice sounded a little odd to him. Almost gentle somehow?

Rio shrugged. That was a good bet on her part. It wasn’t like he gave a shit any which way, other than the passing thought of God help the poor little bastard who was going to be working for that lunatic.

Gretchen still didn’t say nothing. Just kept regarding him thoughtfully.

Damn, she could be so dramatic.

“Well, I’m definitely dyin’ of suspense over here now, Gretch,” he told her sarcastically, “so tell me – who?”

She was watching him so carefully, with such laser focus, that the second before she said the name, he knew who it was going to be and he almost, just almost, had time to brace himself before –

“Beth Boland.”

[atlafan]

could u maybe write something ab harry and the reader reuniting after taking a break for a while 🥺 just something a lil angsty and fluffy

a/n: oh wow, I’ve actually been wanting to write something about this for a little bit, let’s see what I can whip up! Less angst in this than I thought, but super fluffy. Hope you liked it! This is an au, so ya boy’s not famous. 

New York to London

It wasn’t easy, but you both decided to take some time apart. You both just graduated from college, and you needed to figure out what you were doing for jobs. If you needed to move somewhere for work, neither of you wanted to hold the other back. You were in love, but you were still so young. If it was meant to be, it would happen, right? 

You ended up in New York. You loved clothes and fashion. Were a marketing major with a minor in art. You found yourself living in a cozy apartment on the upper east side, working remotely for a clothing app. You got to design and select outfits for people. It was sort of like Stitch Fix. Working from home allowed you to fill up your sketch books with design ideas of your own. Sometimes you would go out and work from the local coffee shop, just to have a change of scenery, of course making sure to buy coffee and food in exchange for the free wifi. 

You and Harry agreed not to really talk, or fill each other in what you were doing. Neither of you wanted to fall into the “please, just come move here with me” trap. You weren’t entirely sure what he was doing, or if he had decided to go back to London altogether. You missed him, and it was a good relationship, but it had definitely run its course. You were with him for two years, you did a lot of growing up together, but you were never certain if he was the man of future. 

Six months into your job, you had started making friends in the city. You found time to go out and enjoy the night life when you could. You had even gone on a few dates here and there, a couple of one night stands when you were sick of using your own devices to get off. Things a lot of young, twenty-somethings did. One day, out of the blue, you got a text from your ex-boyfriend. 

Harry: hi love, is it okay if I still call you that? lol...anyways, I’m in NYC for a few days...work thing...would love to see you if you’re up for it...xx

You take a deep breath when you see the text. You hate the way it makes your heart flutter. You ended up dating Harry in the first place because he always had this way of making you nervous, but in a good way. You always had butterflies around him, and you always found it hard to say no. You were genuinely curious to see how he was doing, and what exactly he did for work, so after waiting precisely twenty minutes, you decide to text him back. 

You: hey! course it’s okay ;p I’d love to catch up! dinner and a drink sound good? 

Harry: sounds great, name the time and place

You and Harry decide to meet up at a restaurant near his hotel that Friday night. You didn’t want to go to some tourist trap, but you knew of a nice place near where he was staying. You made sure to look your best, maybe remind him a bit of what he was missing. You knew he’d do the same. You put on your best little black dress, put your hair up into a sleek high pony, and put on some makeup. You grabbed a pair of red pumps for a pop of color, and into your uber you went. 

It was a nice, spring evening. It was getting warmer out, so you only needed a light jacket along with your dress. You wait in the lobby of the restaurant for him. 

“Y/N?” 

You’d know the sound of his voice anywhere. You turn around and smile. He was almost shocked, you had never looked better. He looked nice. Blue pair of slacks, white button up with the first few undone, and a salmon pink sport coat. Classic Harry. 

“Hi!” 

You wrap your arms around his neck and give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“You look great.” He says, blushing slightly. 

“Thanks, so do you. I put a reservation in for us online. Wanna see if the table’s ready?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” 

He puts his hands in his pockets and follows you up to the hostess. She checks you both in and leads you to your table a few minutes later. 

“Come here a lot?” He asks as he sits down.

“Sometimes. Been here with some friends.” 

You take your jacket off and hang it on the back of your chair. He gets a really good eye full of you. He smiles when he sees you wearing the necklace he had gotten you for your last birthday. 

“So, you’re in the city for work?”

“Yup, I’m an admissions counselor for a small school up in New Hampshire. I got hired to do a lot of the traveling, so I’m rarely on campus.” 

“Oh, that’s cool. Where else do you travel to?”

“Mostly the state of New York and Massachusetts.” 

“What made you-”

“Hi folks, I’m Max, I’ll be your server tonight. Can I start either of you off with a drink?” 

“I’d love a glass of pinot noir please.” You smile.

“Just a Corona for me, thanks.”

“Excellent, I’ll be back in a few minutes with those.” He smiles and walks away.

“Anyways, what made you want to become an admissions counselor?”

“I get to travel with all expenses paid. I really had no idea what I wanted to do after I graduated, so this gives me more time to figure it out. I can explore the various places I go to. S’not like I’m tied down, right?” He jokes.

“Right.” 

He clears his throat.

“So, it seems like the city’s treating you well.” 

“Very well!” You chuckle. “I love it so much. I get to work remotely too, so no one really bothers me, which is great. I’m able to work on my sketches in my down time.”

“Yeah, you’re working for like a clothing subscription service?”

“Mhm, it’s awesome. I love getting to know my clients and all that.” 

“You seem happy.”

“I am. I feel really independent.” 

The waiter comes back over with your drinks. You end up ordering a salad with some grilled shrimp, while Harry opts for a veggie burger. You clink your glasses together.

“So, it’s okay that I texted right?” 

“Of course! I think I’d be a little upset if I knew you were so close by and didn’t even think to say hi.”

“I’ve wanted to reach out for a while, but...I know you said you wanted some space.”

“Well, we both agreed on that.” 

“I guess.” He shrugs. 

“Did we not?” 

“No, we did. I guess all I mean is...I don’t know...takin’ a break has just been weird, that’s all.” 

Before you can respond, your food is brought over. The conversation lightens up a bit as you eat. Harry really enjoys the food. Towards the end, he insists that he pays. You eventually agree to just split the bill. 

“Wanna come see my place? I think you’ll like it, it’s cozy.” 

“Sure! Thought I’d have to work a little harder for you to invite me back with you.” He smirks.

“Oh, stop it.” You swat an arm at him. 

The uber ride back to your place is quiet. He was impressed by the building you were in. He couldn’t believe you could afford such a nice place. 

“So, it’s a studio, but it’s not cramped.” You show him inside. “Like, I can stretch out in the shower.” You giggle. “Got really creative with the storage too.”

“View makes it all worth it, huh?” 

“Yeah, it’s beautiful.” You both look out the window together. “Sit, sit. What can I get for you? I have more wine, and some beers int he fridge.”

“Beer’s fine, thanks.” 

He sits down on your small couch while you get the drinks together. You come back over and him a beer.

“Thanks.”

“Sure.” You take a sip of your wine. “So, do you, like, have an apartment in New Hampshire?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a small place to call home when I’m not traveling.”

“That’s good.”

“Mhm.” He takes a sip of his drink. “Can I ask you something...sort of personal?”

“Um, sure.”

“You haven’t been, like, hooking up have you?” 

“What?”

“Because I haven’t.”

“I never told you not to.”

“So, does that mean you have?”

“Harry...we’re not together, we’re broken up.” You frown and so does he. 

“A break is different from a break up, though, right?”

“We agreed to end things so we could go off and find our career paths. I mean, I think about you a lot, but I guess I didn’t really think we’d actually get back together. It’s been six months, Harry.”

“I know...”

“I mean, I’m not seeing anyone. I’ve had a few dates here and there, but nothing serious. I don’t really have time for it.” 

“Me neither...I guess the only difference is I haven’t wanted to even be with anyone else, random or not.” 

“I find that very hard to believe.” You scoff. “If there was a day I couldn’t see you, you’d tell me how touch starved you were.”

“That’s true, but it was your touch I was starved for, no one else’s. You know me, I was never the hook up guy as it was. It’s gross.” He takes another sip of his drink. “Do you always hook up with different people or-”

“No.” 

He nods his head.

“How many have there been?”

“What does it matter?” 

“Just wondering if I need to catch up or something.” He scoffs. 

“Harry, we never agreed on not hooking up with other people, we never even talked about it.”

“Because I just assumed we wouldn’t! Don’t you miss me?” 

“I miss being in college and having zero responsibilities.” You sigh. “I try not to think about what I miss about you too much. And no offense, but I’ve actually begun a career. You’re still figuring things out. It wouldn’t good if we tried to get back together right now. I like living alone, and-”

“Alright, I get it, you’re better off without me.” He rolls his eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.” You put your hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it away. 

“Do you think I like not being good enough? I’d give you the world if I could, but I literally have zero idea what I’m passionate about. I feel like I wasted four years of my life. Now when I talk with these kids on where they want to go to school and the reasons they want to go...” He shakes his head. 

“You’re a people person, you’ve always been that way. You have a stage presence to you. A room lights up when you walk in.”

“S’not exactly a transferable skill, love.” 

“You’ll figure it out, Harry. I know you will.” 

//

A year or so later you heard from a mutual friend that Harry moved back to London. He had gone off into the world of PR, and he was thriving. Your job had lead you to some opportunities to go to London, they had even asked you if you wanted to relocate there. Many of the clothing lines they had were exported from there, and they wanted you more on the buying team since you had such a great eye. You said you’d consider it and go for a visit to check things out. You and Harry hadn’t talked much since he had seen you in New York, but you wanted to pay him the same courtesy he given you. 

You: Hey, Harry! It’s Y/N...I’m coming to London next week for a work thing. Might even be relocating there! I was wondering if you’d like to get together. Maybe you can tell me how great the city is, lol

You had deleted the text about five times before actually hitting send. Two hours later he got back to you. 

Harry: Did you think I deleted your number?! Of course I know it’s you! That sounds great, let me just check over my schedule with my assistant and I’ll get back to you on when would work. 

You: wow, an assistant, how fancy are you? 

Harry: she keeps my head on straight, that’s for sure

You: well, I’m looking forward to seeing you...it’s been too long!

Harry: I agree

And just like that, you had butterflies in your stomach. You hoped maybe he was single, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he was seeing someone. He was a girlfriend guy, and you had basically told him you weren’t getting back together last time you spoke. 

You were given a wonderful tour of the office you’d potentially be working in. Everyone seemed friendly, and you certainly wouldn’t be the only American working there if you decided to accept. 

Towards the end of the week, Harry invited you over for a dinner at his flat. You were surprised he didn’t want to go out. Maybe you’d be starting at his flat and then go to a club? You were dying to see how the London night life compared to New York’s. You take a cab to his flat and text him when you’re there. He comes downstairs to meet you outside. 

“Harry!” You practically squeal. You wrap your arms around each other for a nice embrace. “It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too. Driver found the place okay?”

“Mhm.” You smile.

“Come on up. Just got dinner on the table.” 

He leads you upstairs. Your jaw drops when you see how spacious his flat is. It was a one bedroom with a nice open concept. It looked like he entertained quite often. He had a bar set up in the living area. 

“This is beautiful.”

“Thanks. Figured I could afford a nice place, why not have one?” He shrugs. 

You use his hall bath to freshen up. He has you sit down at his dining table. He had made curry. 

“This smells so good, thanks so much for cooking.”

“I figured you’d enjoy a real meal after eating out all week.”

“You figured right, thank you.”

“Oh stop.” He sits down. “Just eat, yeah?” 

You moan after tasting the food.

“This is delicious.”

“Thanks.” He smirks. “So, do you think you really might move here?”

“I might, yeah. It seems like a really big step up for me.”

“No one back in New York to miss you?”

“Nope.” You grin. “Other than the few friends I’ve made.” You shrug. “My family is really supportive too.”

“That’s great. I’m really glad I came home. I feel like once I did the opportunities came flying in. I love PR. I make phone calls, set up events. And I get to meet so many cool people.” 

“And you have an assistant.” You chuckle.

“S’not what you think. She’s not some young thing that’s enthralled with me. She’s like forty years old, has a couple of kids that don’t need her home with them anymore. She’s a great help though. I actually requested someone a little older.”

“Why’s that?”

“Some of the younger girls in the interview, when they actually came to speak with me, I don’t know, I just kept getting this weird vibe.” 

“It’s because you’re so captivating. You’re intimidating, but charming.” You take another bite of food. “Sexy.” 

“Oh, gimme a break.”

“I’m serious! You always made me feel nervous when we first started talking. You would always really sit back and observe the room before talking. You can be quiet sometimes. But that was you then, that’s just a version of you that I know, you could be different now.”

“I’d like to think so. Although, I think I’m just a good listener. I definitely like reading a room before I join a conversation.” 

“I’m so happy to see you doing well.” You take a sip of your drink. “So...any lucky ladies or fellas in your life?” 

“No.” He laughs. “M’way too busy for all that. I mean...I’ve had some fun here and there, I’m not celibate.” He takes a sip of his own drink. “What about you?”

“Nothing serious.” You shrug. “I haven’t minded being focused on my career, you know? I have a good work-life balance, don’t get me wrong, but like if I were in a relationship right now, I may not be making this move.” 

“Tell me, if I didn’t live here would you still consider moving?”

“I don’t know. It’s a huge plus knowing I’d have someone close by, someone I know to show me around. If you had the time of course. You could even tell me what the good neighborhoods to live in are.” 

“You could get a flat here. It’s a really nice building to be in. I bet you’d be able to afford it if I can. They want you to be a buyer?”

“Yeah, my boss thinks I have a great eye, and I always get the highest ratings from my clients.” 

“That’s wonderful. I’m happy for you. I know last time we saw each other it didn’t seem like it, but I was really confused about the direction my life was going. I wasn’t happy.”

“You’re happy now?”

“Very much.”

“Good.” You put your hand over his. “It’s all I ever wanted for you, to be the best version of yourself.” 

“Same here with you.” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. “I got some chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Wanna move to the sofa?”

“Sure!” 

You both sit down on his large sectional. You dive into the sweet treat. 

“Do you entertain a lot?”

“Sometimes, yeah. I like it better than going to some stuff club. You can be out until four in the morning if you’re not careful.” He laughs. 

“Well, I’d love for you to take me out to a club sometime.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice, love. I’ll take any excuse to dance with you.” His dimple peeks out in his grin, and it makes you melt. “When do you have to give them your decision by?”

“A few days. I’m headed back to New York tomorrow night.” 

“How’s your hotel been?”

“It’s nice...not as cozy as this though.” You lean back into the cushions and look up at him. 

“Yeah, I definitely don’t miss that about working in admissions. Different hotels all the time sounds like fun, but when you just wanna do your laundry and you can’t, it gets old really quick.” 

“I can imagine.” You make a bold move and rest your hand on his knee. This time when you touch him he doesn’t shrug you away. “I think I may move here. I can home here and you can cook for me all the time, or you could bring me to your fancy parties.”

“Is that so?” He scoots a little closer to you. “It would get some people at the company off my back. They’re always askin’ why I never have a date to anything.” 

“And why don’t you?”

“I don’t know, I’m there to work, not bring arm candy with me.” 

“Ah, but that arm candy can help you network. I’m impeccable at networking.”

“Alright, so you’ll be my date then when I need one, is that what you’re saying?”

“That’s what I’m saying.” You smile. 

“What about when there’s no fancy party? Can I call you for a date?” 

“I’d like that.”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” 

“Can I please kiss you?” 

You nod yes. He leans in, cups your cheeks, and presses his lips to yours. They were soft, just like you remember. He takes them away a little too quickly for your liking though. 

“What’s wrong?” You frown.

“I just don’t wanna, like, rush this, that’s all. I don’t even know what this is, but whatever it is, I don’t wanna mess it up this time.”

“Harry, you never messed anything up. We did the right thing before. I think we’re both in a place where we could have room to be together again. But, I think you’re right, one step at a time. Let me actually accept the job and move here before we dive into anything.”

“Exactly.” He sighs happily. “Okay, I’m gonna kiss you again, and then I’ll drive you to your hotel.” 

You giggle as he smooches you again and again. Harry never really ever stopped loving you, and you could tell. You never really ever stopped loving him either. 

[everyothermouse]

Hmhm I love you I love the au u made I need the p l o t but I don’t want to bother you uhhh was yea ok <:)

ok!!! Basically there are 2 plots that converge, a silly lil camp in the woods and a fae love story! Let’s go under the cut for this cus I’m gonna be explaining them for a hot minute lol

I’m gonna make a breakdown of all the individual characters in a minute but for now here’s a chart I just finished so u know whos where in all this

(Eros not on here but he’s a forest folk) So I’ll give u an expo on both of the plots (feel free to come ask questions as ur reading or after ur done, I would Love to talk abt this au as much as possible)

The fae side: Eliana here’s from two of her townsfolk (the twins) that there are fae in the woods. All her fellow townspeople say they’re just being pranksters again (the amount of times they’ve tried to convince the town there’s totally a werewolf just outside of town is too many for them to be a trustworthy source- and as aspiring nightwalker hunters of course they’re trying to spot fae in every leaf and under every rock), but Eliana, curious, decides to sneak off one night to investigate. After all if there’s a fae out there, it’s her responsibility to ward it off from her town! what she finds though is not a silly lie from the twins or a terrifying manipulative monster- in A flower patch she sees her, the most beautiful charming looking fairy she’s every seen, all alone weaving a flower crown in the woods. He spots her, and although she’s scared at first and wards them with her axe, she can’t bear to attack him. they hit it off really quickly, and Shirley shows her the beauty of the hidden parts of the forest, lit up by the magic of the moon, as opposed to the normal sunlit forest Eliana is used to. She returns home at dawn with promises to come back the next day. Meanwhile Shirley goes home to his ghost husband like ‘omg I just met the prettiest lady evr, she’s coming back tomorrow can we keep her’ and Thomas is like ‘bro we already have jr‘ and Shirley is like ‘no but I want to kiss her 🥺 and hold hands 🥺🥺🥺 and trap her in the fae lands forever with me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺’ and Thomas is obviously slightly jealous but he’s like ‘yeah whatever’ bcus he knows if Shirley does try and make out with some daywalker he’s prolly gonna kill her by accident anyways jdgfufndkc. so Eliana starts going out every night with the excuse that she’s choppin down wood, (ninas suspicious of this excuse but Michael tells her eliana wouldn’t lie,) and Shirley keeps trying to get her to stay forever and eat all their food and introduces her to Thomas and jr and stuff, and it’s nice and all but shirleys making her stay for longer and longer, and he can’t handle letting her go for even a second. Eliana doesn’t mind tho, she’s totally blind with love, and eventually she’s tells the town abt Shirley but that he’s totally not like other fae and definitely cool and there’s mixed feelings, some ‘awwww Eliana finally found a girlfriend, so sweet 🥰’s and some ‘they’re not different ur just being manipulated, we should go kill him’s and even some ‘huh, wasn’t that the name of the guy Harley was crying abt not being able to remember, lol crazy coincidence, Emerson let’s go bully harley’s.

yeah but Shirley has fucking crazy attachment issues and horrible death magic, so eventually one morning he does get REALLY upset abt his girlfriend leaving, like the whole tree (Thomas and Shirley live in a treehouse) is dying around him and Thomas is holding jr begging him to calm down, and Elianas finally like ‘hmm. Maybe this was a bad idea’ and that’s about where we are rn with that whole thing.

CAMP TIME: so as shown from chart above, there’s some ppl living in a lil forest camp together :) emi and graci moved there because they wanna learn how to hunt nightwalkers >:) there was a reason for it a couple years ago but they kind of forgot what it was (cough Shirley disappearing cough) but they’re still dead set on it! And lucky dink, as they’re moving to camp big Harley comes home to visit his brothers and ends up joining the camp for a bit since all 3 of his brothers are there! Camp Side of the story doesn’t have a ton of plot, mostly Harley low key having a crisis abt how busy his life at his actual home is and how everything feels so horribly off here even though hypothetically things haven’t changed much since he left and the twins fucking around and causing trouble around camp. Hallow thinks it’s funny that the stupid kids wanna hunt night walkers cus he is one, so he gives them the tip that theres a vampire in camp and they become dead set on it being Jane. All the kids like playing with Ben like he’s a whole ass jungle gym, he thinks it’s cute. kibi gets dragged around by emi and graci while they try to find the werewoof at the edge of town (sadly they only find Andy, darn, but he plays them some songs so not a total waste. also yes Andy is obviously the werewolf the twins are just stupid GDSHDSJD.) charlotte sits around crying and the other kids and counselors like to play a game where they all take turns trying to make her laugh (the first time the twins came to camp Emerson made her giggle, belle and Ben were so happy they were just sitting there sobbing bcus their girl finally smiled again, so Charlie quietly suggested they make it a new daily game because he hadn’t seen Ben and belle that hopeful in years :,) ). jr and Maria go around biting peoples ankles and collecting sticks. After hearing emi and graci talk abt town, Jane decided she wants to go visit town, Danny‘s super hesitant but the other 3 camp counselors all agree that since she’s 16 now she’s definitely old enough to go where she wants. While shes there she goes to a festival and meets Andy (17) and it’s nice :) also hallow has ero Boyf who visits sometimes and Danny’s got husb Sébastien who he and Jane visit a lot.

ya that’s pretty much all the plot stuff for now! there’s some more backstory stuff abt thomas dying with Charlotte watching and Shirley going missing and what not but yea that’s pretty much it :D

[bokutouch]

Hi!!! I was wondering if I could get an eternal matchup pls??

- my names Olivia and I’m 17.

- I go by she/her pronouns and I want to be matched with a male character from Haikyuu!! please.

- My birthday is January 6th, 2004 and I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Libra Rising (my Mercury is in Sagittarius, my Venus is in Aquarius, and my Mars is in Aries if you wanted to know the rest).

- I’m 5’2, I have brownish-red hair and blue eyes.

- I spend a lot of time doing school work because I’m really driven by it and I’ve had good grades a majority of high school. When I’m not doing schoolwork I enjoy listening to music or going on a walk! I really like going on sunrise/sunset walks bc they’re always really pretty! I try to do community service in my free time because I really enjoy helping others out. I'm currently a summer camp counselor but I hope to be a lab tech one day :)

- If I were to go on a date with a partner I don't really mind what we do, but I like book dates, movie dates, and especially museum dates!! In a partner I'm looking for someone who shares the same interests as me, is kind, has a good sense of humor, and most importantly can understand and work through my emotions with me. I get really bad mood changes so if he can work with me through that I really value it. My love languages are acts of service and quality time.

- I think that one of my fatal flaws is that although I appear kind and respectful when I’m out in public, I have pretty severe anxiety, depression, and anger issues so I struggle with that a lot. I also get really defensive and stubborn when someone says something that annoys me so i kinda never stop talking lol.

- To finish off I’m an ISFP and Enneagram Type 9v1.

- I hope you have a great day! Ty if you do this! ❤

Hello olivia, thanks for coming to my brand new rocket ship!! 🚀

first of all I apologize bcs I'm not really educated about astrology,

so I'll just use your other description as best as I could okay??

I SHIP YOU WITH AKAASHI KEIJI!

"why akaashi?" you might askㅡ

first of all, some part of you reminded me of bokuto.

and some part of you definitely reminded akaashi of bokuto too. it's not a bad thing really.

Akaashi looks at you and think, "ah, she is my home."

because "home" supposed to be comfortable, because home supposed to be familiar. Being with you bring him peace. You are his home, his tranquility, his safe haven.

Most people told him, "God- you are such a boring person, Akaashi." and as the time goes by, he is starting to believe that tooㅡ but thats until you come into his life.

You're one of his classmate. And not gonna lie, at first akaashi only know you as the quiet girl who always buried her nose in books. "If I am boring, she must be a lot more boring than me." that's what he thought of you, bcs really everytime he sees you, its always you and your books. He understands the importance of having good grades, but should you really be doing that everyday?

The first time you two have a really long talk was when one day akaashi saw you still sitting inside your shared classroom, all alone bcs it's almost 6 pm and of course everybody left already. Nose buried deep in books like you always do, but this time he could hear you humming a song- it's a song that he also enjoyed listening to. He never sing in front of other people before, but for some reason he wanted to join your little secret concert at that time, so he did. He sing along to your little hummingㅡ 1 song turn into 2, turn into 3, and you still didn't notice him at all. He laughed a little because "what's so interesting in that clinical laboratory science book that she doesn't even realized I've been here for almost 10 minutes already."

He tapped your shoulder two times, and you jumped at that.

"H-hey? Um, sorry, I just.. I've been waiting here for you to finally notice me but I guess that book is really interesting, huh?" he smiled at you, feeling a little bad after seeing your reaction at his little tap tap on your shoulder.

"Oh, yes... I want to be a lab tech in the future, so um you know, just preparing." you awkwardly smiled back at him.

"Well, uh.. I know you definitely going to be an amazing lab tech one day. I saw you reading tons of books related to that job everyday in class, so... I believe your hardwork will be paid off."

"wait... that was so nice of him." you stared at akaashi who's currently fidgeting with his fingers.

"Thank you for saying that, Akaashi. That really means a lot to me. People have been telling me that my dream job is just that, a dream. Hearing you saying that someday my hardwork will be paid off really motivate me to prove them wrong. I swear I'm gonna rub it on their face once I got the job." you grins at him.

And at that, Akaashi heart beating a little bit faster than the usual. Was it your thankful speech for him? Was it your cute little grin? He doesn't really knowㅡ one thing he knows for sure though, he wants to keep talking to you. From today, tomorrow, and as long as you would let him.

"Hey, uh... it's going to get dark soon. Do you maybe want to go home together with me?"

You could see how nervous akaashi was after asking you that question, so you just nods and start fixing your books into your bag. Right before you zip up your bag, you remembered the main reason you are still in the classroom at that hour is because you were planning to see the sunset on your way back home, "Wait Akaashi, I actually want to see the sunset today..."

"Oh? I usually go home as the sun set due to my volleyball practice. The sight look really pretty if you see it from on top of the hills behind our school. Do you want to go there? I can show you the best spot."

Of course you accept his offer enthusiastically. So yes, that day is the beginning of your friends to lovers type of relationship with Akaashi.

Akaashi confessed to you first.

His friend circle are full of annoying people. They all be like,

"COME ON AKAASHI!! CONFESS YOUR UNDYING LOVE TO OLIVIA ALREADY."

"AKAASHI, DO YOU WANT TO SEE OTHER GUY SNATCH HER UP? HUH? ANSWER ME. AKAASHI!! AKAASHI!! WAIT UP!! "

"AKAASHI, WHAT IF OLIVIA DECIDED TO FALL FOR SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND WON'T CONFESS TO HER?"

"AKAASHI THIS" "AKAASHI THAT" "AKAASHI" "AKAASHI"

so during your usual study date day, he just decided to straight up ask you to be his girlfriend.

"W-what?" you just sat there for a whole minute because... what if things gonna feel different once you two put a real label to your not so friendly friendship? What if being friends with Akaashi is a lot more better than being his girlfriend? What if he ended up leaving you because he doesn't like the real you? There are so many ugly things that you hide from him, would he still love you the same after seeing all those imperfection? so many what if(s) going inside of your head, so little time to actually process each one of it.

"Umm, you can say no, you know...." all the messy thoughts inside your head stopped right away after hearing that.

"NO! wait, Keiji- I mean, not no to be your girlfriend, its no to me saying no to be your girlfriend." God, its hard to be in love. You can't control your heart, your brain, and now your tongue. God bless your soul, olivia.

"So.... is that a yes to be my girlfriend then?" Akaashi looks really small in that moment. He is still not sure if he can finally kiss you or not. Only being a friend to you for these past 6 months kept him from doing a lot of romantic stuff with you. Kissing you, holding your hands for no reason, hugging you any time he wants to, actually go on a study date with you instead of a childish study day. So now he really won't waste a single time if you answer his previous question with a "Yes" ;

After having a long talk about your imperfections, all your insecurities, and also tons of frustrated tears coming from your eyes, you finally say yes and there you have your new title as Akaashi Keiji's new girlfriend. He definitely got his long waited kiss from you too 🌻.

HEADCANON(s)!!

Bokuto once joined you and akaashi's museum date and he broke a statue hand after trying to handshake the statue. He grabbed the broken hand and show it to you and akaashi with teary eyes. Can't do nothing but running for your life and never comeback to that one particular museum 😭

You and Akaashi have the same love language, "Act of Service" ; So the two of you enjoy giving each other little massage here and there.

Just like you, Akaashi love being helpful for others too, so he really enjoyed the time he spent accompanying you to all your community service agendas. People that you two have been helping together ship you guys so much, especially the elderly couple. They keep saying "You two will make it until old days like us two."

After a long time dating eachother, you two decided to adopt a cute siberian husky that you named "Bobo". Akaashi rejected that name at first, because "Honestly love, I don't like how you picked a name so close to Bokuto's name. Our dog deserves better." You gasped at that, "How dare you, Keiji. This is our son! And his name is Bobo. I don't take no for an answer."

RUNNER UP(s) !!

OSAMU MIYA

SAWAMURA DAICHI

SHINSUKE KITA

alright this getting too long haha.

I hope you enjoy the results, love 🦋

[cloveroctobers]

ANNA-JULIA “AJ” (JONES) JARLETT

IG bio/info: @/annajj9x_ | 20.1k followers| Athlete | hey peeps can you stop asking me to throw it back cuz the answer will always be no! K thx take it easy 🏳️‍🌈🌻🏒🐶

21 years old

From bath, England

Hockey player as her profession for the past three years

Her position is defense

Their team name is “rowdy alphas”...yeah some team names just didn’t make sense or they’re cringe for no reason at all

Was raised by her mom,(her mom was a teen mom & had her at 17) maternal grandmother, and her paternal aunt (dad’s younger sister, who’s more like a big sister to her at 28)

They’ve made her into the person she is, literally

Her grandmother has a bed and breakfast that they all live in

the house is Victorian style—almost as if they walked right out of charmed! Instead of a big pink house, think yellow AND purple. It was hideous but homey and charming on the inside

growing up in a house with multiple temporary strangers wasn’t odd to aj at all, in fact it felt like the norm. There was always someone around to socialize with so that was quite nice

Her father was a pro baseball player & passed away due to a automobile accident

she has his smile & freckles

aj was also involved in the accident at the age of 6 & miraculously survived with intense injuries

Has scars as a reminder

used to have night terrors because of the accident...it took awhile—years!!! for them to subside

they’re all vague memories now (but the pain is something she’ll always remember) but she preferred it that way

she’s named “Anna” after her mother’s old best friend/roommate and was supposed to be aj’s god mother but she went missing during their uni years

the name“Julia” came from her paternal grandmother who she gets her wide doe eyes from

her athleticism definitely came from her dad

Her mother luckily liked to document things so there’s a bunch of home videos of her dad in them & pictures/scrapbooks that her mom has for safe keeping

She’s more of a klutz, tiny, and wears huge prescription glasses

extremely close to the three most important ladies in her life, so she’s always been able to be open with them about anything!

when she first expressed her interest in liking both genders around 17-18 her paternal aunt was all smirks, “i knew Britney Spears was so your type, yeah?”

more like shakira but Brit was just as pretty

her mother was a “cry baby” so ofc she burst out into tears squeezing aj’s limbs and peppering her face with kisses. She didn’t view her child as anything different... as she shouldn’t & was glad that her daughter trusted them with this significant moment in her life and wanted to be as supportive as she could

got books, watched Ted talks and everything but knew she could come to the source even tho aj was still figuring it out herself

her grandma dipped her head at the new info sitting at the round kitchen table, “been there. had a few broads in my life after and during my marriage with your no good grandad. Thank goodness the bastard died before you even got to meet ‘em.” “Mum!”

what felt like the biggest weight on her chest was lifted. She knew they’d understand but a part of her had a little bit of doubt, she’s heard so many horror stories where those like her didn’t have the support she has and that made her extremely sad to think about

i see her as a person that has/had many friends in secondary. She’s always open to chat and her being on a few sports teams helped her out in her case

very competitive in anything that she does & will guarantee that she’ll beat you. (“ You wanna race to the car from here?”wins. “Who ever cleans the most dishes the fastest gets the last slice of pie.”) majority of the time she’s right but if she loses?? oh don’t let her lose to you, it’s a pity party for the rest of the time ur in her space. Such a sore loser omg

stays active, always working out + has a gym membership and makes sure she goes at least five times a week

she’s very strong, loves leg day & working on her core

she’s about 5’10

loves wearing “gf jeans” since they’re super comfy but doesn’t mind skinny Jeans with rips in the knees every now and then

trainers and chucks are her go-to sneakers

has no issue shopping in the men’s section ‘cause who’s gonna stop her? Nobody that’s who

owner of over a 100 graphic tees + vertical stripped shirts are also her favs, SWEATPANTS/joggers?! How many does she have? A lot. Snapbacks? Plenty. Will she wear them backwards? Obviously.

Physical touch is her love language. She’s comes from a family that has no issue showing their affection by touch. There is NO such thing as personal space and that still stands with aj when it comes to relationships, she sees no other way

It’s what she shows and what she wants in return, if you’re not touching her in some sort of way, then automatically she thinks there’s something wrong or that she did something

Is the jealous type. It has shown in relationships and ruined a relationship or two

Has cheated on a significant other out of pure jealousy & is not proud to admit that

Does have a wandering eye but feels now that she truly understands herself when it comes to relationships, she’ll never act on it again

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I get libra tendencies from her so that’s what I’m sticking with. She likes to keep the peace (unless she’s jealous) , idealistic — always looking on the bright side of things, outgoing, romantic, and professional— especially when it comes to her team; her true leadership comes out, yet she can be indecisive, hates confrontation, self pitying — if things don’t go perfectly how she imagined/planned it to, the world is ending and everyone is out to get her, and can be unreliable—never on time

September libra to be exact

if she’s really in love/taken a interest in you then she gets nervous: blushing, sweaty palms, cracking her knuckles, tongue tied—the whole 9

she’s already defined as a puppy by her coach but when she’s in love? She’s a lovesick puppy!

her fav holiday is Valentine’s Day

thought she was going to be a pro skateboarder growing up but it took one bad fall where she thought she was paralyzed for her to choose something else

she likes her weed on occasion

Obsessed with all types of cheese except cottage, “can I put cheese on this?”

more of a jumpsuit kinda girl or dressy top with jeans & hoops on a night out

has a solid group of mates outside of the hockey team, they’ve all met and hung out a couple of times, as they should since aj feels they’re going to be stuck with her for awhile so why not?

They’re a riot when they all go out, let’s just say that there’s never a dull moment

fav color is periwinkle

enjoys ASMR, mostly in the mornings when she’s waking up. You know how people love podcasts? (Sorry seb & Nicky, she still wants to be on the show soon!) ASMR is her thing

loves tangerines, you can count on it that she’ll have one on her, “where did you pull that from?” “I’ll never share my master plan.” “You’re such a tit.”

Definitely prefers “fresh squeezed” orange juice & will make her own, she has the tools & the strength 😏

Very rare for her to get sick ;) & if she does she’s a complete baby about it

Will fight that she’s sick before she admits it, trying all sorts of horrid remedies & vitamins

loves summer & all things that come with it, the number one thing is leaving bath for however long she can for a new place to enjoy

when she arrived to love island, she was thrilled for the weather. Yes she was looking for love but most importantly a nice get away & that it was (depending on your route that is lol)

closest with seb, vieve, elladine, and tai but don’t tell the others that! (She doesn’t care if you tell Yasmin, honestly)

just because her & seb “dated” and it didn’t work out doesn’t mean they can’t be friends right? It was almost automatic for them to be platonic after it was determined there would be no romance between them, almost like sibs! like those celebs like to say—except this time these two won’t turn around and actually find romance

vieve came with seb so...but no shade aj did like vieve. She gave great advice (while seb sometimes didn’t say the right things unintentionally or what aj needed to hear) when needed, especially from a medical view and is very sweet

elladine was the one who had all the tea & ideas to match, she’s quite organized and always down for DIY’s and could suggest almost anything. If you needed someone to help you get things tidy or match/find your Aesthetic, she’s the friend you call to help

tai was the one she could be a “bro” with, sure elladine has her competive side (or controlling, depends on how you view it) but tai was the one you can run to for much needed “bro hugs”, partying, going to the pubs, playing sports with or against, checking out/flirting with babes, etc...

it was not long after the villa that aj had a revelation with her sexuality & fully owned and labeled herself as a lesbian

She was happy being in relationship with someone else or with herself, life was short and she was young so there wasn’t time to dwell and stress over things so what the hell?! Live your truth the best way you know how ya know?

probably smells like sweet citrus, almond flower, and sea salt

on chest days, she’s a sweets snacker. Loves gummy bears (also with vodka) , swedish fish, sour patch kids, etc...basically shit that sticks to ur teeth

put all her chips into hockey, while it was advised by her Counselors & mum not to do so, aj went about it anyway. She thought about the pros and cons but knew there was nothing else for her. So there were more pros than cons. She was meant to play sports, its what felt right in her soul

Made her feel connected to her father, when she’s on the field she feels that he is with her

 scrunches up her nose when she’s frustrated or confused about something

Doesn’t always grasp concepts right away, she’s a soft dummy but most of us are and that’s okay! We’re all smart in our own ways

Feels like sunflowers are always around her especially if she sees them wherever she is. They must symbolize SOMETHING, therefore she loves them

spf queen. All about it, get with it or let the sunrays ruin ur skin that’s on u

loves a good filet mignon medium-well & is probably the only good thing she knows how to make alongside a salad, baked potatoes, & her oj

sucker for romantic-comedies...it’s basically her life duh!

If she has a dog, it’s a Dalmatian or Great Dane. She needs a companion that’ll keep up with her

loves kissing, it’s her favorite form of intimacy

Quarantine life included the push up challenge for her. Gaining a few pounds in muscle and fat, bothering seb via ft, viewing old letters she wrote to her dad, spending time with her fav ladies since they were now restricted from having guests in their home, and letting boredom consume her + she hated the whole lockdown that came with it, she hated being indoors for long periods of time but she knew that’s what partly needed to be done

Posts a lot of beach, park, outings with her friends & team, moments with her fav ladies, workout videos, and guests at the b&b with their permission and if only she befriends them along the way. She’s just as active on the socials as she is in rl but she’s not obsessed with it, she knows how to live in the now. She’s all about balance!

I also feel like she never keeps her phone charged and it’s always dying on her! She had a car charger but...that’s a jungle. She needs to invest in a portable charger stat

crushing on/finds attractive: Jared Padalecki, Keanu Reeves, Barrett Doss, Camilla Luddington, Sandra Bullock, Adrian Kempe, Harry Kirton, Anya Taylor-Joy, Haley Lu Richardson, Naomi Osaka, Ming & Aoki Lee Simmons

who does she listen to? Shakira lol!! Bea Miller, Dua Lipa, Daya, XYLØ, Elley Duhé, Stela Cole, Aloe Blacc, Maroon 5, Lewis capaldi, Charlie Puth, girl in red, Hayley kiyoko, king princess, dodie, & tessa violet

Anthem: Icona Pop — we got the world

[itzagothamcitysiren]

Welcome to the Family

So I wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone whose supported this :) I really didn’t expect it, since I’ve been posting on other sites for a couple of years now with barely any response. So it’s very motivating and refreshing to see an active community! 

If anyone is interested I do have an account on fanfiction.net and AO3 but I haven’t been super active on there as of late. But if there are any Guardian of the Galaxy fans out there I do have two completed books posted and than a work in progress for that fandom :) Link to my fanfiction.net page and my AO3 page!

Also sorry for updating so late in the day. I’m still working during all the covid craziness and work was hella busy and stressful today. As soon as I got home I crashed for like four hours lol. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I won’t be so tired. 

Never Wanted to be Here Now pt. 3

           Clothes had never been that important in Halley’s life; or better yet she should say that fashion had never played an important role in the ex-assassin’s life. Her father was many things but he always made sure she had what she needed. Her clothes had never been worn out or old due to their career they could afford to look nice.  And because of that Halley never really cared about appearances since her lack of impute in the clothing her father picked out for her.

           Outside of work, Slade wanted them to look professional, classy, as he put it. Her closet mostly consisted of black shirts and cardigans with the occasional simple black dress. Her pants and shoes were always comfortable as they were always on the move. Never was something flashy or over the top, unless the job called for a little undercover work of course. But practicality was something her father drilled into her from a young age.

           It wasn’t until moving into the tower did she really start to see that clothing could be used as a way to express oneself. Kori was more than eager to brighten up the girl’s bleak wardrobe and instantly began filling the girl’s new closet with hand-me-downs that the Tamaranean Princess simply grew out of. It wasn’t particularly what Halley could now recognize as her own taste but at the time she was just appreciative of putting anything on that wasn’t just black.

           When Kori insisted on taking her shopping before she was set to move in with Dick’s father, Halley was so used to having just what she needed that she didn’t see the need. But now, she was grateful and somewhat annoyed that she couldn’t wear the clothes she had bought at this exact moment. During her time with the Titans she actually began to get a personality; she actually liked things and knew a decent amount about pop culture; like she actually understood what Star Wars about now.  

           Wally and Victor had a field day because it was like Starfire all over again. You think storm troopers are the good guys? She remembered Wally’s voice cracking as he could hide his horrified reaction to the revelation that she had never seen the series of films that nearly everyone in the modern world held close to their hearts. She couldn’t count the amount of movie nights they had with her, feeding it to her like it was imperative information that was at the upmost importance for her to learn.

           She let her eyes wander to her closet, thinking of the Star Wars t-shirt she picked out during her shopping trip. She remembered running up to the guys eager to show them what she had picked out. She sighed as she remembered the proud look they shot down at her. Her smile from the fond memory faded as she turned back to face the mirror in front of her. Her eyes looked at her appearance, her lips slanted in displeasure. Halley was never one for dramatics’ but maybe Dick was rubbing off on her after all?

           Pulling at the tight collar of the white dress shirt, she reached onto her dresser to grab the next item of clothing that would surely make her body itch. Slipping the vest over her head and shoulders, she smoothed the thick navy blue fabric out while looking at the crest of Gotham Academy that was place over her heart. She would rather wear the uniform her father made for her than this. Stop being overdramatic, she cursed herself.

           It wasn’t that bad she supposed as she titled her head as if that would change how she looked. It wasn’t that she looked bad, technically she looked fine. The vest surprisingly didn’t make her look frumpy and the plaid, pleated skirt wasn’t too short but also wasn’t awkwardly long, just resting a few inches above her knees. And at least her footwear was comfortable much to her original thoughts. Alfred had called them saddle shoes and the name itself had made her feet already hurt.

           Halley just figured that this was the confirmation that this was her life now. Dick had called her the night before, wishing her good luck on her first day of school. Even Kori and Wally cut in, wishing her the same. She could tell they were trying to ease her worries about them, refusing to give her a straight answer when she asked where they were and what they were doing. Frowning again, she let out a sigh, pushing her hair back and off her shoulders.

           Should she wear it down? Or up? Braids?

           Rolling her eyes, she reached down for her backpack, deciding that her hair looked fine as it was.  It was just school, she told herself. She’d never been to one before but she had some short of idea what it was like.  The guys showed her at least a dozen movies that took place in High Schools. Granted she knew that there’d be no singing, or magic, or burn books, she knew kids her age were mean and terrible. Just look at Jason for example, surely not all of them were that way? But she told herself she’d ignore it all.  She was just there to learn and make Dick happy and that was it.

           “You done checking yourself out yet because we’re going to be late for school.” Speaking of the devil, there he was. Halley really hated herself for letting him sneak up on her yet again. Narrowing her eyes at him, she moved away from her mirror and reached towards her backpack. “Oh right, I’m supposed to knock,” Jason pretended to recall, fully remembering the long and stern conversation Bruce gave him about boundaries. He knocked on the doorframe, with a roll of his own eyes.

           Halley huffed, slinging the backpack over her shoulders before moving past him, making sure she bumped shoulders with him as she did. Jason turned to follow about to call her out but stopped when he saw her backpack. Sniggering he followed, picking his own up from the floor and putting it on. “You aren’t seriously going to use that thing, are you?”

           “Why wouldn’t I?” She questioned, squinting up at him as he matched her pace. They walked side by side down the long hallway until they reached the grand stairway. “Dick gave it to me; it’s a perfectly fine backpack.”

           “You can’t wear that! In Gotham? Are you crazy?” Jason laughed again, poking his finger at it and then into her side. “People aren’t too big on Supes over here.”

           She jerked her body away from him, bounding down the stairs to get a few steps in front of him. “I’m not that big of a fan either but it’s all I have, so it’ll make due.”

           “Alright, you’re funeral.” Jason shrugged, raising his hands in mock surrender. Halley rolled her eyes at him. He was just trying to wind her up before her first day. No one in their right mind would stab someone over a backpack; no one was that stupid.

           The pair reached the kitchen, Alfred laying out scrambled eggs and bacon for them. He informed them to eat quickly, as he didn’t want Halley to be late on her first day. Being her first day, she had to get there a little bit earlier to meet her student counselor and receive her schedule, as well as meet the student she was supposed to shadow.

           Just as it did on her first morning her, breakfast ended all too quickly and she soon found herself in the back of the car, sitting to the right of Jason this time. Even the drive, which took about thirty minutes, since the Manor was on the outskirts of the city, felt as if it only took a handful of minutes. She was sat in the backseat as Alfred parked the car to let them out. Halley’s eyes widened at the large, imposing building with teenagers scattered about, chattering and laughing. It wasn’t the first time she saw the building, attending the rides with Alfred all of last week but saying that Halley was suddenly feeling dazed would be an understatement.

           She jumped as she heard a car door slam and then saw Jason walking around the car. He stopped a foot away from her door, looking impatiently. He was waiting for her. She quickly picked up her backpack, suddenly not wanting him to leave her if he got tired of waiting. He was better than nothing. As she shrugged her bag on, she opened the door but not before quickly thanking Alfred for the ride.

           “It was not a problem at all, Miss. Good luck on your first day.” He nodded to her as she closed the door.

           She watched as he began to drive away, before turning back to Jason. Her hands instantly pulled down her skirt as they began to walk. She suddenly felt exposed. Was her underwear showing? Why were people staring at her? It only took mere seconds for her to notice it, but the crowds of teens seemed to go silent as she walked back them with Jason. Were those whispered she was hearing. It was the backpack; Jason was right about the-,

           “Chill, damn girl, your face is so red right now.” Jason hissed out, tauntingly. He looked her up and down; this girl had issues. “It’s just cause you’re with me. People around here heard Bruce Wayne took in another kid.”

           “Oh, so it’s not the backpack?” she said quietly, pushing her hair behind her ears, trying to cool herself off.

           The chuckle Jason let out wasn’t like his usual. It seemed genuine and somewhat playful. She looked up at him confused. Jason looked back down, opening the door for them once they reached it. She looked somewhat adorable fretting over everything and shook his head, putting a hand on the said backpack. Gently, he pushed her through the doors.

           “I was just messing with you.” He grasped the bag for emphasis before letting it go. They began to walk at an even pace with each other again, Jason clearly leading the way with Halley following like a lost puppy. “I mean it’s a pretty lame backpack, and people are most likely going to call you a giant dork but you won’t get murdered over it.”

           Halley glared up at him, before realizing that she reached out and lightly slapped him upside the head. She didn’t know what came over her, it wasn’t like she did it maliciously. It wasn’t done out of rage like when she had slapped him her first day here. She felt this weird playful anger inside her and that’s how her consciousness expressed that sudden feeling. The pair stopped walking, earning looks of annoyance as the people walking behind them nearly walked into them.

           Jason’s hand rested on his head where she’d slapped him. Halley opened her mouth to apologize; she’d seen Dick and Kori do that to one another jokingly but that was different. They were a couple, they were close. She and Jason had barely spoke, let alone civilly with each other during her first week with them. But before she could apologize, he just laughed, using his hand that was holding his head to lightly push her shoulder.  “You really are a dork.”

           Halley’s face turned red, unsure of how she felt during this situation. Seeing this Jason just shrugged, putting his hands in his pant pockets. Nodded forward, he motioned her to get moving again. He began leading her to the guidance counselor like Bruce told him to make sure he did.  

           The rest of the walk was silent between them. The halls were loud enough as it were and Halley was just trying to take it all in. She thought since this was supposed to be filled with a bunch of rich kids it’d be a little tamer? She grimaced when she saw a couple practically sucking each other’s faces off against some lockers. Looking away quickly, to not wanting to get caught staring, she kept her eyes facing forward.

           Jason did his job and quickly left her, mumbling something about seeing her out front after school. Sighing but not surprised that Jason ditched her as soon as his obligation was up, Halley opened the oak door, entering the room. Looking around, she was greeted by a lady sitting at a desk and a couple of students looking less than thrilled sitting on seats up against a wall. Halley walked up to the desk, clearing her throat to get the lady to look up.

           “Hi, I was told to come here. It’s my first day.” She said awkwardly, fidgeting with her backpack strap.

           “Name?” the woman sighed, sounding how the kids looked.

           “Halley Wil- Wayne.” Halley cursed to herself, quickly correcting her mistake. Putting a smile on her face, which was of course fake, she repeated herself this time with some sort of confidence. “Halley Wayne.”

           The woman perked up at that, looking up from her desk and work; Bruce Wayne was a large donor to the school. “Oh yes! Welcome to Gotham Academy, Mrs. Patterson can see you right now, right through those doors.”

           Halley raised an eye at the woman’s sudden attitude change but nevertheless thanked her before turning to the doors she pointed too. Inside the woman, her counselor, Mrs. Patterson was just the same. It wasn’t until she spoke her new name did she start to treat her like a human being or well more than one actually. These people were so fake it made her want to escape back to her tower and be locked away from the world again. It didn’t get much better throughout the day and she was beginning to understand why Jason was always in such a bad mood on the car ride home.

           She’d been paired up with a tall, black haired girl who seemed nice at first glance but Halley quickly learned that like many of the people here, she was what Dick called a snoot. When the girl finally looked away from her phone, she introduced herself as Sam, but then went back to her phone. The two girl’s shared their homeroom together, Halley still unsure of the concept. They only set in the room for about fifteen minutes as the teacher checked them in and then they left for their first class with a ring of a bell. Did they not trust the students to show up?

           Sam showed her to her first class, which they shared together again. Halley half expected for the girl to sit with her but couldn’t say she was shocked to find herself sitting alone in the back of the room the entire class. She could barely follow what was happening; she was halfway through the term and never read the Iliad before, or anything like such before. She obviously she knew how too but she didn’t have much time for reading growing up and ancient Greek epics weren’t something Slade Wilson considered an important part of her education.

           As the bell rang, Sam waited impatiently for Halley too collect her things, shoving them into her backpack. When she caught up to her, Sam just looked at her bag and raised an eyebrow, “So you’re into superheroes?”

           Halley could sense the distaste laced in her tone and just shrugged, remembering Jason’s warning. “There, um, okay, I guess. I mean if it weren’t for them, who’d save us you know?” She laughed lamely, wanting to slap herself for sounding so, so civilian.

           “I guess,” Sam shrugged leading her to her next class.

           “It’s really my older brother’s backpack, he let me have it.” She added, abruptly, causing Sam to eye her strangely. Halley awkwardly smiled, turning her face quickly away from the taller girl. Calling Dick her older brother felt weird, never really having a title for him but to the world they were technically siblings and she didn’t know, was trying to sound cool? Gross.

           “Ohhhh,” Sam said, looking away from her phone. She suddenly had a look of sudden interest. “You mean Dick Grayson? He’s hot; my sister was in the same grade as him. He came over sometimes for parties and stuff. You’re so lucky you get to live with him, he has like the greatest ass-,”

           Halley grimaced as Sam spent the entirety of their walk gushing over her brother. She’d never saw Dick as the way Sam was describing him and it made her slightly uncomfortable. She was glad when Sam dropped her off in front of an open doorway. Sam didn’t share this next class with her, instead stating how she had a slip that allowed her to leave class early to meet her back here so she could show her to her next one.

           The rest of the day played out all the same. She’d sit through a tortuous forty-five minutes, learning things she either already knew, or things she knew were useless in the real world. Then in between each class she’d be pestered by Sam. The girl bombarded the new student with questions about Dick Grayson. Eventually, the girl moved on to other topics. Asking if Bruce Wayne really did bring different woman home every night and of course the big how much money does he actually have, question. Even during lunch Sam insisted she sit with her friends and Halley felt as if she stepped right that scene from the Mean Girl’s movie Wally showed her. She knew how this was going to go down and quickly excused herself to use the restroom and never went back, instead opting to ask some nice boy for directions to her next class.  She was restless and agitated.

           Her free period was when she found herself finally deciding this whole school thing wasn’t for her. At least in her classes, the time slightly went by quicker. She tried to start her homework, another concept she didn’t understand, but quickly gave up, slamming the textbooks closed.  She blushed when the surrounding students looked at her from the sound and started whispering. Frowning, she quickly picked up her books and left the library, wandering the halls for the rest of the thirty minutes, masterfully avoiding the teachers who she would surely get in trouble with for being in the halls during class; which was another stupid concept.

           But despite how her day really went, she still put on a good face when the day was over. She wouldn’t want to come off as ungrateful if she spoke truthfully. Her day was great, and she met a lot of nice people. She didn’t spend her lunch alone in a bathroom stall and she most definitely was looking forward to going back tomorrow.  

[97sunsh1ne]

cafe boy (pt. 4/4)

➳ collegestudent!hhj x collegestudent!reader (gender neutral)

➳ fluff!!

➳ wc: 1.1k

(part 3 here!)

The ramen restaurant was only a few blocks away from the cafe, but the sun had already set by the time you and Hyunjin walked up. It was a cozy little place, with a glass wall in the front; you could see the patrons seated at their tables, and a heavy wooden door, which Hyunjin opened for you. 

It was warm inside, taking off the slight chill that had begun to settle outside following dusk. The hostess greeted Hyunjin with a kind smile, and asked, 

“Not just you this time, I see?” 

He chuckled, 

“No, I guess not. Y/N, this is Nayeon, she used to sneak me rice and leftover gyoza when I was a broke freshman.”

“Nice to meet you!” You smiled with nervousness. 

“You too, and yes, I did. He was a scrawny little thing, I felt awful for him. Now he still comes around, begging for free rice when he spends all his money on books.” Nayeon winked at you playfully,

“Now let’s go get you two a table.” 

You both followed her through the small shop to a small table near the back, up against another glass wall that you hadn’t seen from the front. 

“Here, let me grab a chair for you-” 

“Oh- thank you.” You smiled, sitting down after she placed a chair across from Hyunjin. Nayeon laid down two menus and sets of chopsticks, then picked one of the menus back up. You looked up, confused, and she added, 

“Sorry, almost forgot. This kid gets the same thing every time, doesn’t need to look at a menu.” 

Hyunjin nodded with a toothy grin. You nearly melted at his expression.

“I’ll be back to take your order in a minute.” She smiled, and walked back towards the front.

“You get the same thing every time? Must be pretty good.” You added, trying to swallow your anxiousness. It was hard to look him in the eye, you always ended up a blushing mess. 

“Yeah, the red garlic tonkotsu. Reminds me of high school; me and my friends used to get ramen and study every friday night- when we could afford it.” He chuckled to himself. 

“Anyway- the black garlic is good too, and so is the shoyu. And we can get some gyoza, if you want.” 

“I think I’ll get the shoyu, and some takoyaki too, I’ve been craving it since she mentioned it.” You smiled through your nervousness, and Nayeon came back to take your order. 

The glass wall gave you a perfect view of the downtown skyline. Your college was woven into the center of buildings uptown, which was mainly apartments and small businesses, all crowded together in the tiny streets. The ramen shop was no different, except it was perched along the top of one of the higher hills, giving anyone sitting along the wall the perfect vantage point to look over the tall skyscrapers dotting the landscape. There was a street a little ways down the hill, and you could just make out the last few leaves on the trees, leftover from autumn. The sun had set, but there was still a faint glow in the sky, making the lights seem brighter against the night. It was beautiful; no wonder Hyunjin liked it here. 

Another server brought your ramen and side dishes, and said a warm hello to Hyunjin. You could see the comfort in his face as he ate. At school, there was this… carefulness about him: the way his hands hovered as he typed, and the restraint and stress he bit back in his jaw, especially during class. But, here, that all seemed to evaporate into the cozy air. His face was relaxed, and his eyes were filled with warmth. He looked so calm, so at home. You had only ever seen him filled with ambition and passion, working himself to the bone; now, as he slurped up his ramen, you might’ve even said he was glowing. You thought your chest would burst. 

The two of you talked between bites of food; when you put down your chopsticks, Hyunjin asked, 

“Want to get some dessert? The ice cream mochi is really good.” 

“I don't know, I’m pretty stuffed, that ramen was so bomb, dude.” 

“What did I tell you? I’ve got good taste, and we can split the mochi, if you want; you've got to try it.” He was so emphatic, you smiled and replied, 

“Okay, okay, if you insist.” 

The server cleared your table, and Hyunjin ordered the mochi. 

“So, you came here all the time during high school, did you grow up around here?” You asked. 

“Sort of,” Hyunjin smiled at the table, “My high school was a couple blocks from here, so I spent a lot of time in this area, but I actually grew up in downtown; that's where my family’s from.” 

The server brought the mochi to your table, and Hyunjin talked while he split them in half and put a few flavors on your plate. 

“I took the bus every day, there and back. My family runs a bookstore near all the skyscrapers, but they wanted me to go to a good high school, so I switched districts. It was a good thing, too, because the counselors helped me apply for colleges, and I ended up getting a full ride.” He looked up at you, 

“Did you try the taro? It’s my favorite.” 

“Yeah, but I think I like the mango better.”

“Basic.” 

You laughed and picked up a different flavor. Green tea, maybe?

“I bet it was tiring, having to go back and forth all the time? My grades would’ve tanked, but you managed to get what, valedictorian?” You smiled. He chuckled, 

“Salutatorian, actually. And yeah, it was a lot. I mean, I slept through physics all junior year. But I knew what I was working for. My parents are really hard workers, and I knew they wanted the best for me. It blew sometimes, but I wanted to make them proud.” 

“Oh, and having a big brain is very popular with cute people in cafes.” He winked across the table at you, and you started choking on your ice cream. Predictable. 

After you caught your breath, Hyunjin said, 

“Listen, if we’re gonna do this again, you have got to stop choking every time I flirt with you.” 

“I’m sorry, it just catches me off guard. Please understand, you are very attractive, which is not good for my little heart.” You teased through your blush. 

“Well, I prefer my dates alive, okay? So please refrain from dying on me.”

You split the bill, and Hyunjin offered to walk you back to your apartment. When he kissed you outside the front door, soft and sweet under the moonlight, you didn’t pass out. In fact, when he pulled away to look at you, you met his warm eyes, grabbed him by the coat, and kissed him again, smiling. 

(part 3 here!)

I just want to say a brief thank you to everyone who read this! I am not familiar with tumblr at all, but if people enjoy my writing I would be happy to continue posting my works on here! (as well as fix up my blog so it doesn’t look so janky LOL). I posted the first part of this year almost a year ago, and I am just now completing it, so for everyone who has read it, thank you. every single note means so much. thank you thank you thank you!

[lovemesomesurveys]

What may I call you?  Stephanie or Steph.

Where are you right now, exactly?  In my room on my bed.

Over or under 18?  I’m well over 18.

Have you been watching the Stanley Cup play-offs? (GO BRUINS!)  No.

Ever believed your house was/is haunted? If yes, why; what happens? Nah.

The building you live inside; how long ago was it built? I think early 80s.

Ever travel internationally?  I’ve been to Mexico once.

If you could go anywhere RIGHT NOW, where would it be? And why? I don’t want to go anywhere RIGHT NOW. 

Do you fancy someone currently? Tell me about them!  No.

Ever have a big ol' crush on someone you've never met in person? If so, did you ever tell them you did? Well, on celebrities.

What makes you feel luxurious? I don’t feel luxurious.

Do you enjoy drinking scotch as much as I do?  I don’t enjoy drinking scotch at all. Or any alcohol.

What have you done that makes you proud of yourself? Meh.

What makes you envy someone? Someone who seems to have their life together. I know everyone has their struggles and hardships, but there’s people who manage to push through and handle things better. They’re able to function still and are doing something with their life. I envy people who despite their hardships have a strong, positive, can-do attitude. I envy people who are passionate about things and do what they love. I envy talented, creative, and intelligent people. 

For you, is jealousy something that makes you more sad or angry-feeling? Depends.

Do you get the munchies?  Natural munchies sometimes.

Every been to Germany? If so, what part? Nope.

Do you buy newspapers just for the puzzles? No, I don’t buy the newspaper for any reason.

Describe any tattoos or piercings you may have...? I just have my earlobes pierced. 

When's the last time you smacked someone's butt? (Or been smacked :P) I don’t do that.

Do you enjoy making art? If so, what's your style like?  I don’t make art, but I like to color.

Were you a shy child? Very. Now I’m a shy adult.

Ever wanna run away with the circus?  Uh, no.

What is the closest object to your feet right now?  My feet are near the edge of the bed and my bedside table is nearby.

Reach behind you- do you feel anything? What is it?  My pillow.

Is English your second language? No.

Have you ever designed and constructed your own clothing? No.

What's the very last digit in your phone number?  Nah.

Is your house an odd or even number? Odd.

Do you have a favorite superhero? Who? Iron Man, Spiderman, Star Lord, Ant-Man.

What power would you like to receive, if given the option?  >>I don’t know. The power of brain that work good. <<< Ha, yeah that would be nice.

Ever punch someone in the nose?  No. Or at all.

...will you write me a haiku? Nope.

What was the last thing that really delighted you? Hmm.

Do you wear skin-colored clothes?  I have a pair of pantyhose that are like the color of my skin.

Ever eat German cuisine? If so, what'd ya have? No.

Do you have conversations with any animals?  I always talk to my doggo.

Do you have a little sibling? If so, are you protective of her/him?  Yes.

Recommend me a good book? I don’t know what you like.

Can you sleep on your back? (I can't, I feel too vulnerable!)  I can, but I prefer to sleep more on my side.

What's the last special thing you did for someone? (Buy, cook, etc.) Hmm.

Did you cook something today? If so, what was it?  Ramen.

Ever baked ALL day? No.

Can you recognize the smell of death?  Gahhhh, I’ve smelt dead rodents.

Ever known a mortician or a coroner?? (Now you do!) No.

What makes you feel good about yourself? Nothing?

Could you ever be some type of counselor for kids/teens?  No. Funny how that’s actually what I wanted to do for a long time when I was younger.

Do you enjoy getting dressed up for no real reason? No.

What are you afraid of?  A lot of things.

Ever been to a maximum security prison? You, or just visiting?  No.

Do you think mint toothpaste is too minty?  I use a light minty one for sensitive teeth.

How is a raven like a writing desk? I still haven’t figured that one out.

Are you currently eating or drinking something? If so, what? I’m finishing up my Starbucks energy drink. 

Do you own striped socks? What colors are your favorite ones?  No.

Black Metal ist Krieg. Agree or Disagree? >>  I had to Google that and apparently that’s a name of an album of a metal band, but I’m guessing you’re asking if I think black metal “ist krieg”, which for me no it’s not my thing.

Are there any numbers that have significance to you?  The number 8.

Do you know how to read palms or tarot or anything else like that?  I don’t believe in those things.

Do you own any bones or other preserved organic ..things? Unfortunately not. Accepting all bone donations. <<< That made me chuckle for some reason lol. I’m lacking those things as well. Well, I do own the bones in my body...

What do you think about internet piracy?  I can’t say I’ve never partaken... I haven’t in several years, though. 

Do you know anything about Nordic runes?  No.

How do you feel about children?  They can be cute and they can be annoying, ha. 

Whatcha looking forward to right now? Summer being OVER. This triple digit heat wave needs to goooo. We’ve had power outages the past couple times and it will probably happen all this week, too. D:

How do you feel about clowns?  I like Pennywise.

Are any of your friends clown by profession? I’m a clown. I majored in clownery. 

Do you put grated cheese on popcorn?  I’ve never tried that.

Do you thing anyone ever actually gets in trouble for having milkcrates?  What? Why would they get in trouble for that?

Do you tip street performers? (YOU SHOULD.) Not usually. I didn’t ask them to be there, I have no obligation to them. I’ll do it if I feel moved to (and if I happen to have cash, which is the other important variable here). <<< “I didn’t ask them to be there” hahah I love your answers.

What are your virtues/morals?  Ya know, stuff like honesty, being loyal, taking responsibility for your actions, being tolerant of differences, treat others how you wish to be treated, forgiveness, no cheating, respect, don’t commit murder, don’t steal.... stuff like that.

What do you smoke, if anything? I don’t.

Does being an addict make someone a bad person, in your opinion?  No.

Have you ever experienced any type of detox? No.

Ever been institutionalized? ...was it because of just one pepsi?  No. And I don’t get the Pepsi thing?

Tie up, or be tied up?  Neither.

Ever shoot a gun that wasn't a handgun? Rifle, shotgun, etc? No.

Is your mother a really cool lady? Yes, she’s awesome. Everyone loves her.

Ever suddenly find a friend very attractive but had to keep it to yourself?  I’ve liked a few of my guy friends, but I told them.

What time is it right now? 7:35AM.

Last time it's rained? I think back in April. Feels like forever ago. 

Ever been through a deadly natural disaster? No.

What do you do when you lose power?  Ugh, we’ve had that happen the past 2 days during the hottest time of day. It’s been high triple digits and inside my house has been 90 degrees, 92 when the power goes out. D: It’s horrible. I go and get my little battery fan and a wet washcloth and mess around on my phone and/or talk to my family until it comes back on. And complain about how hot it is.

Do you have a boot fetish too?  No.

Have you ever done home-repair stuff? No.

Reason you last used a knife?  I eat my spaghetti with a fork and knife.

Ever tattoo or pierce yourself? What, and how did it turn out?  Nooo. I’d be terrified to get either one done, I certainly couldn’t do it to myself.

Have you ever assisted in a birth? No.

Have you ever had a bad trip?  I’ve had a bad weed trip before and an actual trip.

Do you ever yell at your TV/computer/video games? Ha, yeah. Maybe not yell, but definitely talk back to it or comment out of frustration.

How long do you take in the shower? 30-40ish minutes.

If you could ask someone ONE thing & get 100% honesty, what would you ask? I don’t know.

What's the best thing you've ever found in a thrift/second hand shop? I don’t go thrift shopping.

What's one skilled craft you like to learn? Uhhh.

How do you feel about magicians? It can be pretty cool to watch. Some are really clever.

What do you smell like right now?  I smell my laundry detergent on my clothes. 

Tell me about the last person that made you laugh. He’s intelligent, funny, and cool.

Who was the last person to really make you feel special? It was nice receiving birthday comments from family and various people on social media and the birthday gifts from my family.

[neshabeingchildish]

Hensley & Char: Friends or Whatever || Part 3

@just-a-j-reallly @junknstu1f @henryharts I absolutely pushed this bad boy out in a couple of hours, since I’m trying to hold myself to a somewhat organized schedule, with going back to a second job on mornings that I don’t have to work nights. If there are typos and such, please just remember that this is free and that I am busy. Lol. I promise, whenever I’m not pressed for time and energy, I do everything to give y’all my best, but when I am those things, my best has to dwindle a little, in terms of editing, hopefully not content. I’ve been missing Chasper, so this chapter is kind of Chasper heavy, from Hensley’s view of them, and also I wanted to get into the universe that we’re more familiar with, so while I didn’t feel like certain things needed to change - like meeting Ray and getting the job, I wanted to just sort of do the ff thing we do and look at other areas of the world while all of that was happening.

The Danger Befriends

“We’re almost 12. Her issues might strictly be hormones, and maybe that means that she’ll be less mean soon,” Jasper said.

“Shut up about hormones!” Charlotte snapped at him. “You ALWAYS blame women being rightfully angry with you on hormones! It’s NOT hormones, Jasper. It’s YOU. YOU are the reason we’re mad!”

Hensley didn’t want to get in the middle, but these were both her beast friends and she knew that this was all just a misunderstanding. Jasper wasn’t inconsiderate or stupid… Just very, very gullible. This was dirt from Jupiter all over again. “Jasper,” Hensley said, as gently as she could, “I think what Charlotte means is that instead of telling us the reason why you’re holding a filthy cat instead of our carnival tickets, you’re focused on her reaction to the fact that you handed a stranger the money for the tickets and they gave you a disgusting animal.”

“She’s not disgusting. She just needs a bath…” Jasper said, but before he could complete the thought Charlotte lunged towards him and Hensley had to collect her in a restraining hold to keep her from getting her hands on Jasper. Jasper’s eyes widened and Hensley cooed in Charlotte’s ear to try to calm her. 

“It’s okay, Char. It’s Okay. I carried a little extra money and I’LL get your ticket. Okay?It’s all good. It’s ALL good.” Charlotte struggled Hensley’s hold off of her and glared at Jasper, shaking her head, before she marched off and went to stand in line, herself. 

Jasper shook his head, “I think that a good counselor and perhaps even medication will help her with that.” Hensley just sighed. He had a point,  but he also missed the point. But, moments later, a guy in a trench coat really did come back with their tickets and three drinks, because they were waiting out in the sun with his cat. 

Hensley pulled Charlotte from the line, explained that this time, Jasper hadn’t screwed up and Charlotte said, “Well, it still was careless and under normal circumstances would have been a scheme.” Then, they got on rides and all was forgotten for a while. 

The moments where the three of them had fun and enjoyed each other’s company were Hensley’s favorite. She frequently felt like she had to pick sides because they argued so much. Jasper loved Charlotte. He had always liked her as a person and spending the past couple of years around her only accelerated that for him. The three were together everyday and always made plans as a team. No one would be left behind, because to Hensley, that would feel like choosing between them. And she really couldn’t.

Jasper was her yes man. Charlotte was her voice of reason. Those were things that she needed to always receive both of in order to make good decisions. She did not always make them, but she couldn’t comprehend what life would be without the two varying options. They were like the little angel and devil on her shoulders, except Jasper was the clueless angel and Charlotte the all knowing devil. You’re SUPPOSED to listen to the angel, but this particular angel was only right every now and then. The devil was always right, but she was an angry little person and threatening… That made her truth seem like it wasn’t so. Yet, she was usually right, and Hensley only SOMETIMES listened to her.

But, in those moments whenever Jasper couldn’t be around - they flowed better. And in the moments that Charlotte didn’t show her face, Hensley and Jasper made more sense. It was… confounding to Hensley. She NEEDED both of them, but it was so much easier to deal with them separately, usually. She wondered if they were like that too. Did Jasper and Charlotte have a harmonious dynamic whenever Hensley wasn’t there to demand both of their attention? She wondered what that was like. 

She imagined that Jasper was sweet and that in spite of herself, she would soften for him and smile a lot, maybe even giggle… She… kinda felt a little bit jealous about it. WHAT did Charlotte and Jasper do whenever SHE wasn’t there? Sometimes, if they studied together, or Charlotte’s mom gave him a ride home or something, even at times, he stayed the night over there??? WHAT? They could barely get along, WHY would he be able to sleep in the same room as her? AND… He was a boy!

Hensley watched Charlotte reading and Jasper leaning up against her, getting ready to fall to sleep. She made a frowning face at him and he quickly shuffled away and made a makeshift, non-Charlotte pillow of his over shirt and backpack. But, when he drifted off, Hensley noted that Charlotte sighed, grabbed a bandanna out of her bag, wiped his sweat off and tucked the bandanna in his pocket. Why had she done that? Did she LIKE him? Why was Hensley so preoccupied with these details?

Charlotte stared at her and looked confused for a moment, then figured it was because of what just happened. She explained, “Jasper’s medication for his sweating problem has changed. The new one makes him a little more tired. I don’t want him sweating all over me or my carpet.” Rational. Reasonable. Nothing to be concerned about, and even if it WAS… She wouldn’t be concerned, because she and Charlotte were just friends anyway. Just like Charlotte and Jasper were. But then, “He looks different when he sleeps. When he’s shut down and silent - he’s actually cute, right?” Charlotte asked. 

Of course, she meant like a roly poly rodent, but Hensley just heard cute and while she agreed, denied it. “Jasper? Cute?” She laughed. “Why don’t you just kiss him?” 

“I would get sweat on my lips,” she said, cringing, “Jasper sweat. I don’t even want my own sweat on my lips…” She looked at Hensley like she was extremely gross for even attempting such a joke, and Hensley relaxed and didn’t think about it again. 

There was no way that Charlotte liked Jasper. He wasn’t gross, but Charlotte found a lot of his habits to be. Plus, he irritated her very easily and even though she was nice to him sometimes, there was just this… Hensley couldn’t find the right word to describe a disconnect, so she thought of it as a no-no region… Though that sounded like their private parts, so she just simply stopped trying to find words and counted it as “would never happen.” Yet, she spent about a year convincing herself that Jasper and Charlotte were just friends and woul;d always just be friends. 

It was hard though. That Charlotte had two best friends of different genders who both liked girls and she seemed to like both of them sometimes and like neither of them sometimes. All of Hensley’s life, there were people who would say things like she and Jasper would wind up dating someday or that they were probably soul mates/would get married, etc. They made it out to be like boys and girls couldn’t have friendships that were just that and it never moved her before because she knew that Jasper was not her type. She and Jasper had the SAME type, for as long as she could remember thinking about it. But, now… That could/might include Charlotte. 

Charlotte wasn’t really the kind of girl that Hensley tended to be attracted to, but by 13, she definitely had become aware that it was probably because she didn’t see other girls that were like Charlotte, and that she hadn’t for as long as she had been in school, and not because Charlotte wasn’t totally pretty. She absolutely was. But, the more time went by, the more she realized that despite that Jasper had always noticed Charlotte. He knew her name. He knew about her plans and her life. He treated her like  a person who he cared about… and he did this before she became Hensley’s best friend. It wasn’t a competition, but Hensley had a problem not competing. 

.

The feelings were exacerbated whenever Hensley happened upon a part time job… No, Charlotte found her a part time job. Hensley was now, not only a productive member of society, but the actual sidekick to Swellview’s superhero, Captain Man, and that required secrecy and discretion. That required leaving Jasper and Charlotte alone and going to work to keep the city safe, to keep them safe… and she made an oath never to tell them.

“Why aren’t we allowed to stop by your job?” Charlotte asked, while Jasper drank from his bucket thermos as they walked from school. “We aren’t going to ruin anything, and we just wanted to be able to look around and possibly even make a purchase and contribute to your paycheck. You barely let us in the door…” 

Hensley nervously laughed and shook her head, “I… don’t need your money for my paycheck. You two don’t even have jobs..”

“Yeah, upon further research, I found out nobody really hires 13 year olds for anything…” Charlotte started.

Jasper quickly spouted out, “Oh, it’s illegal. It’s one of Swellview’s many stupid laws.”

“It’s not just a Swellview law, though. It’s most places. My research concluded that the jobs available for kids under 16 are generally permissions for entrepreneurial ventures, Internet personalities, highly regulated child celebrity gigs, and family businesses where they aren’t actually on payroll. I wonder why the junk store doesn’t have to follow those regulations…” Charlotte said, suspiciously. The last thing that Hensley needed was Charlotte being suspicious.

Jasper offered, “It may be a historic building, in which case, in Swellview, they are allowed to hire as early as 13, but only in a part time capacity, and if the training for said job is at least one year.”

“That’s gotta be it! Ray’s father bought the place when he was a kid,” Hensley said, unsure of what even constitutes as a historical building, but hoping that Charlotte wouldn’t investigate it. She wasn’t even paying attention to her, though.

Charlotte smiled at Jasper, “You really know Swellview laws.”

“One of Dad’s main rules is if he ever has to get a call that I’ve been arrested, it better be a misunderstanding,” Jasper said with a shrug.

“You almost always get in trouble at every bit of fault of your own,” Charlotte told him.

“Yes, but not illegally.” 

Hensley was happy to have the conversation off of her work. 

Jasper’s dad was a defense attorney, so Jasper knew a lot about laws and ordinances and stuff. Maybe that was why he was so good in social studies and language arts. He knew laws, history, and wordplay. Charlotte was good with sciences and math. Between the both of them, Hensley was able to keep her head above water in school. She would need them now more than ever, because her job as Kid Danger was taking everything out of her and she hadn’t even been doing it for very long. But, whenever she looked at her two friends, who bickered like an old married couple, but also loved on each other, she knew that this job wasn’t just about the money or even the newfound high of fame. It was about what was best for Swellview. For Hensley Hart, Swellview was her two best friends…

“So… Can we stop in sometime, though?” Charlotte asked, not being deterred.

“Oh, my boss Ray is kind of a stickler about it…” Hensley said.

“Probably doesn’t want something to happen where he has a liability,” Jasper said. 

Charlotte looked disappointed as she shrugged her shoulders and tugged Jasper’s sleeve, “Well, I guess that means we’ll see you tomorrow. Jasper gave Hensley a hug and the two walked beyond the store, debating whether they were going to get snacks before heading to Charlotte’s, or trust that her mom had something other than organic/vegan/no added sugars or flavors stuff that Jasper always felt like was a crime against taste buds…

Hensley went into the store. Just another day of Danger, for her. And her friends would be alright.

[charismastaticarchive]

HC: dr. maruki takuto | mental health practioner representation

when i first finished persona 5 royal, i had the thought to myself that the game was almost comically anti-therapy. here is the one of the only pieces of media i have ever seen with an active, important counselor character, and.... to be honest, to begin with, it honestly feels like his social link is more you (a high school student) counseling HIM about his academic research paper. couple that with him ‘just wanting everyone to be happy and ignore reality’ and his boss fight where, instead of talking him down (bc who needs to talk about their problems, right), u fight him literally just fist fighting ur therapist in a denny’s parking lot basically (paralleling the fight with jose the actualization eggboy where instead of talking to jose about his feelings, u fight so u can both ‘vent your frustrations’), it seemed clear to me that SOMEBODY on the team had a problem with their therapist, or their guidance counselor, or both, and they had no intention of showing mental health practioners in a positive light

but then. i remembered something. while therapy CAN be a healing experience----therapists are still fallible people with personal problems, that make bad ethical calls that negatively effect their clients all the time. they are given a position of authority over another person’s very mental state, their thoughts and feelings, and their job to their client is to treat their innermost desires and feelings with not just care and kindness---but a clinical, ethical, standard-practice tried-and-true treatment. and the reality of mental health practices is that it is a constantly evolving field in which fallible mental health practioners with busy lives outside of their clients can fall prey to pop psych theories and their own emotions and experiences instead of doing their actual job, maintaining boundaries and ethical standards. and for the history of mental health services----mental health practioners have largely done a lot of harm to their patients.

one specific example i would like to use because it parallels kasumi and dr. maruki perfectly is the case of ‘sybil’---or, the two people in reality and not just the fictionalized account of it---dr. cornelia b. wilbur and shirley ardell mason, who popularized the ‘multiple personality disorder’ diagnosis.

shirley ardell mason was a woman who had been abused in her past, who had depression, and anxiety, and was very clearly mentally ill, and desperate for any kind of approval. dr. wilbur was her psychiatrist---who basically saw symptoms within shirley that COULD be multiple personality disorder, and suggested it to her patient so strongly that shirley started to act out the multiple personalities in order to make her doctor happy. she later was so scared of telling dr. wilbur that it was all an act that she left a note at her office explaining----dr. wilbur said that the note was merely written by one of her alternate personalities, and continued treatment. together, dr. wilbur and shirley went through a process of ‘reintegrating’ the personalities that would supposedly cure shirley of all the trauma, anxiety and depression that plagued her pretty much he whole life, a process that you can just see on tumblr that is widely hated for people with actual dissociative identity disorder, that they want no part in, and in the process of doing so, shirley became basically a ‘professsional patient’ as she had no means of paying dr. wilbur for their sessions other than sleeping on her psychiatrist’s couch and selling her life story as ‘sybil,’ which later became a tv movie that like 60% of every household in america saw. she became completely financially and emotionally dependent on dr. wilbur.

this is a real thing that happened and that led to further misdiagnoses as more and more people were coaxed into the diagnosis in the same way as shirley was, and is not any less real than any positive experience i’ve ever had with a therapist. and i’ve certainly had negative experiences with psychiatrists and guidance counselors and nurses and therapists alike.

dr. maruki literally takes whatever ideas he has or wants from people, and warps their realities to his desire for them. does ryuji really want to be on the track team? by the end of his social link, it seems that yeah, it’d be nice in another life, but it’s not the end of the world if he’s not on it. dr. maruki takes his own ideas about other people and amplifies them, changes them, pretty much preys on them to further his own ideals for an impossible ‘true’ world where no one suffers, when a lot of humanity had already accepted their suffering and were dealing with it in the healthiest manner they possibly could. but more damning than that instead of being a guidance counselor and guiding people towards their own ACTUAL goals instead of just what dr. maruki thinks would be their best possible life----dr. maruki abuses his position as a doctor and an authority figure in everyone’s lives to use them to make his own paradise in a way that affirms his worst fears and doubts about himself (that he doesn’t deserve to be a human being with feelings and has to be a completely selfless martyr of a being, that he doesn’t deserve to be happy with other people and that he must always remain outside of them, that he doesn’t deserve love in that respect, and that he can never have a true equal or a partner or even a real friend), without taking other people’s wishes into account as he claims to, and then making them completely reliant on him. he makes himself a god, he warps people into forgetting themselves and their actual goals so they can be ‘happy’, and in doing so---he has to continue this role of ‘god’ and ‘happy person’ forever, to the point where it’s very obvious no person in his world can be indepdent or make thei own actual decisions.

and yes, he does it out of kindness. maybe dr. wilbur really thought she was helping shirley. after all---it has to be appealing, as a pyschiatrist, to be able to diagnose someone with a disorder as multiple personality disorder was thought of at the time, in which you can ‘fix’ for them, reintegrate them, make them whole and happy and cured. but reality isn’t so simple. trauma isn’t so simple. being a mental health practitioner is a lot harder work than being a god---it’s being a human person, with their own human opinions, who has to constantly go to conferences and seminars and read books to stay up to date on on the latest information, it’s long hours of dealing with people in crisis who may never get out of crisis, when you still have to go home at the end of the day to rest and recharge yourself. it’s work, and it doesn’t pay well, and it doesn’t always seem to matter in the long run how much work you put in---but recognizing yourself as a fallible human being is the first step to getting better at being a mental health practioner. it’s how you can make sure you’re not doing stuff that harms your clients, or yourself. and it’s also how you become a better and more fulfilled person like, in general.

so. the final verdict on persona 5 royal’s representation of therapists is. it’s actually very realistic. and i hope people are not dissuaded by it to not to go to therapy. but that they know that some therapists, and some people, will be kind but ultimately misguided and wrong. and it’s always best to like. ya know. shop around when going to therapy for the first time. maybe don’t go to the first person that offers you snacks. like maybe see if they can tell you the framework in which they operate and if they say ‘fruedian’ or ‘cognitive pscience’ just uh. get the hell out of there lol

[raiswriting]

muse

request: art major!reader w law major!doyoung pls :cc bullet note format if u can!!!

a/n: he’s a year older than you but it doesn’t matter that much

warning: a few swear words oopsie

genre: fluffy college!au

pairing: doyoung x reader

summary: ummm basically just how you and doyoung meet and get to know each other

word count: 5.1k (oops)

lets GOOOOOOOO

okay so basically college has been a JOURNEY

people ALWAYS had some shit to say as soon as they found out you were an art major

it was usually “what are you going to do with that” “do you know how unsteady that career path is”

liKE I GET IT

do they really think they’re telling you something new????

oh I’m sorry your majoring in business Susan™ and you decide to throw away your passions just because some high school counselor told you that you wouldn’t be able to support yourself but IM going to make my passion a career

lol sorry I have a lot of feelings

now onto how you met your mans doyoung

your freshman and sophomore years, you had only seen him in passing

tbh you barely recognized him when you saw him more than once

you knew him as “that one dude that i always see in the dining hall wearing suits”

then junior year you got a job at the convenience store on campus (lets get this BREAD)

pls tell me it isn’t some weird niche thing that only my school has

aNyWHO he started coming in around 2 am right before closing

and ALWAYS picked up 3 coffees all of which had double shots of espresso

this happened about 2 or 3 times a week

(which is very unhealthy guys gals and nonbinary pals pls try to drink cold water instead, it helps wake me up or green tea)

so despite seeing him so often at work, he began to appear less and less everywhere else

were you lowkey kinda sad about it???

mAYhaPS

that was until winter quarter started

you needed an elective class, SO you figured ‘eh why not take philosophy’ you had heard around that the professor is really chill and overall the class wasn’t supposed to be that bad

WELL GUESS AGAIN

 because that really nice professor that everyone loved isn’t the one teaching the class this quarter

but hey you figured let’s go into this with an open mind and hope for the best

well on day one of this class (which is a 9 am by the way) guess who struts through the door

mister “that one guy i’d always see wearing a suit” who became mister “that one dude who always buys too much coffee at 3 am”

the man… the myth…… the legend………….MISTER KIM DOYOUNG

yep and ya boi decided to sit 2 seats down from you, it was too far to say hi or anything (esp bc you had never really spoken to him before) but like he was also just close enough for it to be awkward

so class went by normally you found out that the new professor wasn’t THAT bad but there was definitely gonna be a lot of work involved

so yeah life carries on as normal

you still see him all the time at the convenience store

one night it had been a particularly rough shift

your alarm didn’t go off, so you were running late, it had started to rain on your walk to work, and when you finally got there your manager apparently had someone piss in his cheerios because he had S U C H an attitude because you were

 TWO

MINUTES

LATE

you were sat behind the counter after what felt like hours of sweeping and mopping the floors

that’s when he walked in

you didn’t even lift your head to greet him as “hi, welcome” crawled itself out of your mouth

you did however notice when he sat his 3 cans of coffee in front of you

“hey your y/n right?”

 “that’s what it says on my nametag”

“haha yeah it does. i think i have you in my philosophy class”

when you finally met his eyes, you felt a little bad

you had kinda been giving him the cold shoulder for something that wasn’t his fault

 you gave him a little smile

“yeah i am. doyoung right?”

he nodded slightly

the air was a little awkward and silent as you scanned his coffees

as you handed him the receipt he asked “hey do you maybe want to study together sometime. i mean our test is in like two weeks and it’s a quarter of our grade so like if you were free we could hang out and get some work done?”

dUDE you froze

here he was standing right in front of you; messy hair, sweatpants, a sweatshirt repping your school logo and looking very nervous (but very attractive lmao)

i guess your reply took a little too long because he quickly started to back peddle

“i mean if you prefer to study alone that’s cool. i just always see you during lecture and you look like you understand the material and sometimes i get a little lost in terminology but if you don’t want to that’s fine too.”

you quickly snapped out of your haze

 “no, no. i would love to study with you. here let me give you my number so we can meet up. most of my classes are in the morning so any time after like noon should be fine.”

 you grabbed his receipt back and quickly scribbled your number on it before handing it back

“just text me when you want to get together”

 okay honestly you had never been one to give out your phone number just like that and you didn’t really like studying with people

but something about him made it so hard to say no

you just had this urge to get to know him

so when he texted you a few days later asking if you were free to study that night

of course you said yes

and it went pretty smoothly

he has a much better understanding of the material than he let on at first

he even ended up helping you understand a few things

you got together w few times over the next couple of weeks

each time you met you got to know each other more and more

yall quickly became friends

well yall became friends after the first night studying because lets be real it was awKWARD

like neither of you felt particularly comfortable yet because this was the first time you had actually hung out with each other despite knowing of each other’s existence for two years

oh yeah that’s something you found out after getting to know one another

 he had always seen you around campus and wanted to get to know you but never did because he thought it’d freak you out having a random stranger coming up to you like

‘hey I know you don’t know me but I see you all the time. let’s be friends.’

which isn’t THAT crazy but to each their own

okay but let’s jump to the time 2 days before your exam

you guys agreed to meet up at the library and the plan was to study for A WHILE just to make sure you were prepared ya know?

so like you get there and he was already sitting in a room waiting

 when you open the door he gets up to hug you

which he hasn’t ever done before

and like tbh he was really warm and smelled really nice like it his cologne wasn’t too strong, and it smelt sweet but also very inviting which isn’t really a scent but like do you get me? and he gave a really tight hug like the type that you didn’t want to let go of it felt as though you could stay there forever (this is also where you lowkey start having feelings for him but shhh because you don’t realize it yet)

so back the point

obvi you start studying and besides the hug nothing was really that different

you got through the material, quizzed each other, talked a bit

ya know the usual

time flew by and the next thing you know it’s 12:30 am and the library would be closing at 1 so you decide to wrap it up

“alright doyoung i’ll see you in class. get some rest before the test okay?”

 “yeah yeah i will” he rolled his eyes a little bit

 “seriously dude. i know you. go straight to sleep when you get back to your place”

he worried you sometimes. He really wanted to do well and the applications for law school were opening up soon, so he’s been kinda stressed no matter how much he tried to hide it and this test coming up isn’t helping

“i will. i promise.”

he walked you out of the library and you two would usually part ways and walk alone to your apartments

before you could turn and say goodbye doyoung was already speaking

“hey it’s a lot darker out here than usual”

you looked up at the pitch-black sky

“yeah I guess it is, oh well at least I have my pep-“

 “what? you have your pepper spray right?”

“no i forgot that i let my roommate borrow it. she’s going to a sorority thing and won’t be back until like 3 or 4. it’s fine though my apartment is only like a 10-minute walk. goodnight do”

“wait y/n. i’ll walk you back. it’s way too late and too dark for you to go home”

“no i couldn’t ask you to do that. you’re law and society class is at 8 am tomorrow so you need to get some sleep.”

 “well i won’t be able to sleep anyway if I’m staying up worried about you. so lead the way.”

despite the cold fall air, your face felt hot

like you know that it’s normal for friends to be worried about each other but that didn’t make doyoung saying it any less charming

the walk back was nerve wracking

you guys normally don’t hang out outside of the context of studying

so like this was weird, nice but weird

and once you go to your door there was a cast of silence

doyoung was just looking at you

normally it would make you kinda uncomfy/insecure but right now you were calm

there was something about looking into his eyes

the brown was so warm and inviting

after a few seconds of the comfortable silence, he finally looked away

and I awkwardly cleared my throat “thank you for walking me home doyoung”

 “of course, i’m just gald to know you got here safely”

“so um, i was gonna wish you luck just in case we don’t see each other before the test but i mean judging from our study session you won’t need it though.”

he giggled and i swear someone could have mopped up your heart because it was in a puddle on the floor

“shut up y/n. thank you though. i always appreciate your kind words. do you want to meet for lunch after the exam? i usually have a lab afterwards but it got cancelled so if you’re free we should meet up.” asjdjjklcbclkNCKDLSNCOS

“yeah i am free. i guess i’ll see you then.”

 he took a few steps back “yeah i guess you will. goodnight y/n”

“goodnight doyoung. actually get some sleep tonight, yeah?”

you could see his shoulders shake with laughter as he walked down the steps

to say you were smitten would be an UNDERSTATEMENT

the smile that showed up didn’t leave even after you fell asleep

when you get to class on that friday morning, doyoung is already sitting in his usual seat

the bags that usually take their place beneath his eyes are barely visible today

hopefully he took your advice and actually went to sleep

after the test you both got some burgers for lunch and just talked it had nothing to do with the test which was nice

i guess y’all make a great pair because once the scores came out, both of you got A’s

after that studying together became a routine

every tuesday, thursday and saturday leading up to the next test,  you guys would review or sometimes just hang out

it was a mutual decision to help each other study

even if you didn’t share the class, one would be there to quiz and make sure the other focused (most of the time it worked, other times you’d be the reason they got distracted and vice versa)

the two of you would go out for lunch on those days instead

as the quarter drew to a close and the break got nearer and nearer as did finals week

you and doyoung tried to keep up with your study schedule but it was getting harder

you had artwork due

you were particularly stressed over a sculpture that was assigned

your teacher gave you those choice of clay or marbleas a medium and clearly you chose clay

you were going to do marble but then you remembered the other 3 tests you need to prepare for and a portfolio that had to fit the theme of mythology

so basically you had a lot of art to produce and NO INSPIRATION like none, zero, zip, zilch, nada

you sat in the room you had reserved in the arts building

a pile of clay sat atop a slab of rock, a blank page of a sketchbook sat next to that

scrolling through pinterest had stopped working long ago and at this point you were losing hope

ring, ring, ring

doyoung’s name popped up on your screen

it was odd because you two usually texted for everything

“hey, do what’s up?”

“hi y/n i was just wondering if you wanted to grab some fro-yo. i just got out of another test and could use some company”

“ahh, doyoung i’m sorry but i’m stuck doing work. do you remember that mythology sculpture i told you about? well, it’s due next Wednesday and i haven’t even started on it yet”

his voice sounded so concerned “is everything okay? how are you doing?”

“i’m doing okay, just tired. i’ve been trying so hard but can’t find any inspiration” you sighed into the phone, looking out the window of your room

“what room are you in?”

“room 247 in building B. why?”

“just sit tight.”

the call ended before you could ask any more questions

okay when i tell yall it was less than five minutes and he was walking through the door just know that what i really mean is he rAN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS TO COME COMFORT YOU

so yeah, he got there huffin and puffin, ready to blow your house down (with love)

“doyoung, what are you doing here?”

“well you were upset.” his tone was so matter-of-fact, and his eyes were so wide and innocent

honestly he looked so cute but like you were still very confused

what was he doing there?????

yeah you were upset but you also didn’t want to worry him

he casually walked over to a seat beside a window and pulled something out of his backpack

as he got closer and reached his hand out for you to take it, you noticed it was a sandwich

“it’s ham and cheese. light mayo, no lettuce or tomato”

when your eyes looked up at him he wouldn’t make eye contact

“you said this is the only way you take your sandwiches”

yALL 

you only told him this once in passing because he was eating a sandwich with mayo

but pls tell you are putting the pieces together

he stopped to get you food and made it across campus in 5 minutes

the walk alONE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN 10 MINUTES

HE STOPPED AND GOT YOU FOOD TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN’T SKIPPING ANY MEALS

MARRY THID MANFSJDLFG

alrighty anywho

obviously you took the sandwich and spent 5 minutes thanking him for getting it for you

he sat back down in his seat near the window as you guys chatted for a bit

the conversation slowed slightly and you were able to just look at him

the light was bouncing off his face perfectly

his eyes looked like freshly brewed coffee. they were warm and inviting

his smile somehow managed to outshine the light pouring in

there he was

in all of his glory

your muse

your inspiration

his expression shifted to one of confusion

“y/n, why are you looking at me like that”

he could be your subject for not only the sculpture but also the portfolio as well

“okay this may be an odd favor and you can feel free to say no”

your leg couldn’t stop bouncing up and down and you thought your hands might catch a cramp from all the wringing they were doing

“don’t be silly. what is it?”

“well, i was thinking maybe you could be the model for my sculpture.”

 “of course i will but i thought it was supposed to be about mythology and i’m no greek god”

he chuckled a little bit

“shut up do. are you kidding me? your shoulders are like a mile wide. you have a great jawline and that smile? you’d have all the mortal girls falling for you i mean i did. that sounds like god-material to me”

he threw his head back laughing

mostly to hide the huge blush creeping up his cheeks

“okay, okay. i’ll pose for you. what do i have to do?”

“just sit still so that i can take some measurements of your face and then i’ll take some photos for reference afterwards.”

doyoung did as he was told for the most part

he sat there patiently

he kept peeking at your sketchbook as you laid out the rough ideas for a few of your other pieces

tbh you hadn’t even noticed

you were in the ZONE, you hadn’t been this inspired in a while and you wanted to take full advantage of it

you also hadn’t noticed the ,,,, um,,,, lack of space,,,,,, between the two of you

well doyoung had, to say the least

he sat there desperately hoping and praying that you wouldn’t notice how sharply he would breathe in everytime your hands touched his face to move its position

or that you couldn’t notice how much his hands were shaking and how he was constantly wiping them on his pants because they were very sweaty

finally, you had all the information you needed

as you stepped back and over to your chair in front of the clay, doyoung could finally breath

“doyoung, do you have any other classes today? i don’t want to keep you here if you have plans. you can go i can work off of the reference pictures”

he very vigorously shook his head

“no no, i’m free for the day.”

“okay. you should probably go get something to eat while get this started. this will probably be a long process.”

“yeah sure. do you want me to grab you anything while I’m gone?”

“nope i’m good. i already had the sandwich you brought me.”

“okay then i’ll be right back”

after he left it easy to feel the emptiness of the room

even though you were enveloped in your work it was still noticeable

the absence of his presence was palpable

the lack of it was almost suffocating

while you were worked on getting the basic shape and structure you found yourself unsettled

unable to get back into the ‘zone’ you found yourself in before

still, you pushed through the weird shift in the air, but it wasn’t long before doyoung came back with a bag of food

“hey doyoung.”

he glanced over at your pile of clay

“whoa. you made a lot of progress. okay i know you said that you didn’t want anything to eat but i brought burgers and some chips and stuff just in case.

“doyoung, you really didn’t have to. i would have been fine.”

he rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. he simply sat back in his chair and ate some of the fries that came with his burger

the hours seemed to fly by once doyoung returned

it also helped that you played music on the speaker that you brought

before you knew it, it was 5 pm and the sun was setting

you leaned back from your chair to stretch before standing and taking a good look at the sculpture

after about 4 hours of work, you were almost done

of course there were still things that needed to be touched up, like the hair and the eyes

you had decided on a pose of doyoung looking up and off into the distance

you turned and washed your hands in the sink at the back of the room

“here’s your burger if you want it. it might be a little cold, but it doesn’t have any mustard, lettuce, tomato, or pickle. that’s how you like it right?”

YALL HE DID IT AGAIN

HE REALLY JUST OUT HERE BEIN A WHOLE SWEETHEART

“yeah, how’d you know?”

“remember we met up for dinner before a study session a few weeks ago? that’s how you ordered your burger and you told me about how dill pickles were the bane of your existence”

 “which they are” you chuckled “but i can’t believe you remembered that”

“of course, i did. i remember everything you tell me”

your heart melted for like the fiFTH TIME TODAY

you smiled and blushed before grabbing the wrapped burger from his hands

you guys sat and ate in comfortable silence

once you had finished you turned to him

“if you’re ready to leave you can. i just have a few things to add but it’ll be okay if you aren’t here. i’m just about out of daylight anyway.”

he playfully cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms

“y/n. i have a feeling you’re trying to get rid of me”

“maybe i am doyoung. whatcha gonna do about it?”

“cry.”

you both busted up laughing

once you had calmed down you looked at him

“seriously do. if you wanna go study or sleep or something go ahead”

he stood up and began to walk closer to you

“oh stop that. y/n it isn’t a burden for me to stay here with you. i’m honored that you would choose me to be the subject of your work and i love spending my time with you”

at this point he was standing right in front of you. looking down into your eyes.

there was no hiding the redness flushing your skin

after a few moments of silence, you looked back down at your hands

he speaks again as if you two hadn’t spent the past minute just staring into each other’s eyes

“so what next? are you gonna keep sculpting me or are you gonna draw and paint a bit?”

“ummm ,,, i kinda want to just finish the sculpture so that i don’t have to worry about it ya know?”

“yeah. where is the light switch?”

“right by the corner near the door”

as he flipped on the switch and light once again flooded the room

you were able to get a good look at the sculpture

despite it not being finished, you were still incredibly happy and proud of it

you sat back down in front of it ready to finish the work

it only took another hour or two to finish once you really got back into it

you spent the bulk of the time adding in all the little details

and you also decided last minute to add a wreath atop his head and the top of a toga

you took a final step back before sighing in relief

you were finished

you almost wanted to cry

while you were staring at the piece doyoung got up to stand behind you and look at it as well

“wow y/n. it’s beautiful.”

“well it’s you so i hope it is.”

LOOK AT YOU. BEING BOLD. OKAAYYYY

before he could say anything else, you walked back to the sink and while washing your hands, asked his help to put it in another room to dry for a few days before it goes into the kiln

“it’ll take a while to dry so i’m going to leave it here and head to bed”

“okay well i can walk you back to your apartment”

“alrighty”

okay so you grabbed all your stuff (with his help because doyoung is too nice to just walk beside you as you try carry 4 different bags filled with art supplies)

the walk back was kind of uneventful

you invited him in to drop all your things off before he headed out, not until you thanked him for spending the day with you and being your subject

okay so 2 weeks pass

you and doyoung meet up a few times because you need him to model a few poses for your portfolio

but FINALLY you finished your portfolio and sculpture and turned it all in

since then you have been relaxing, getting ready for winter break

well “relaxing” is a loose term

tbh you had been kinda stressed over the scores you were going to get on the artwork

and today, the day before the quarter ends, your professor would be handing back your portfolio & sculpture with a score

you decided to text doyoung after getting dismissed from class

y/n: “hey i get the score for my art project back today. do you want to meet up and we can find out together?”

doyoung: “oh my gosh yes. but are you sure you want me to be there?”

y/n: “of course do. you were such a big part of this, i couldn’t leave you out of it. besides you haven’t seen the finished portfolio”

doyoung: “okay. same art room as last time?”

y/n: “yep. i’ll see you in 20”

you were nervous. as you waited in the room, your legs couldn’t stay still so you decided to pace in hopes of calming yourself down

or at least having something to do

when he walked into the room, your eyes met

there was no hiding the frantic look in them either

“hey y/n. do you have it?”

you pulled a card from inside the front of your portfolio and set it down on the table

doyoung’s voice was soft and calming as he walked up to you

“can i look at it?”

he picked up the large folder

in a large gold print:

PROMETHEUS, he dies everyday but wouldn’t wish for any other way to spend eternity

“you chose me to represent Prometheus? what’s his story”

you began to recount the tale as doyoung slowly flipped through pages of your artwork

·         “well he was the youngest of the titans, which were the creators of greek gods. it was said that he was also the kindest. when he looked upon the earth and saw how the humans were struggling, Prometheus felt pity and decided to give them a gift. he gave them a divine secret of the gods. he gave them fire. he did this despite knowing that Zeus would punish him if he found out. which he did. the other titans and gods were furious, so they tied him to a rock near the sea. every day an eagle would come and rip out prometheus’ liver and he would die. every night it would grow back bringing him back to life. this torturous routine goes on every day and night and according to the myth it continues until this day, as it will forever.”

as you finished the story doyoung closed the folder

all he said was “wow”

it made you nervous. “so ,,,,, do you like it?”

“y/n. this is beyond words. this is amazing. and you chose me?”

“well yeah i mean. you two just seemed to fit each other. you are the kindest person i know. you’re very generous too. so really it wouldn’t have worked if i had chosen anyone else or any other myth.”

he said nothing. just set down your work and hugged you.

you embraced each other. sharing this moment.

“y/n no matter the score on the other side of that car, just know that your work is beyond incredible. not just because it’s of me”

you both laughed before he continued

“seriously. you are an amazing artist. your art moves people. it makes me feel emotions that i haven’t felt in a while. it takes me on a journey.”

he pulled back and gave you one last smile before grabbing the card off of the table

“on 3”

“….1”

“….2”

“….3!”

a 97 was written in bright red marker

“oh my gosh y/n”

you two jumped back into each other’s arms

the smile on your face was ear to ear. there was no way it was going to fade any time soon

“I knew you could do it.”

“not without you i couldn’t have,” you say leaning back slightly, your arms still around his neck

he rolls his eyes at you

“seriously doyoung. if you hadn’t come by that day i don’t know what i would have done. you were my muse”

his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist

your eyes would have met if his weren’t staring at your lips right now

“y/n.” he whispered

“doyoung?”

“can i kiss you?”

“absolutely”

FUCKING FINALLY

ahem sorry I got a little excited for you

it was great. what can i say

it was everything you expected to be

before you thought that the whole “fireworks” thing was just movies overexaggerating

 but NOW you can attest to that

the kiss with doyoung had so much built up tension and caring and passion and just wowza

when you finally pulled apart

both of you were slightly out of breath

doyoung still had this cute, dumb smile plastered on his face

he gave you a few more pecks

which of course made you have a big dumb smile plastered on your face

you actually pulled apart and out of his arms this time and took a look at the score card

beneath your score the professor left a little note

“i hope you don’t mind but i emailed the art gallery about your work. they have a small exhibition open if you’d like to showcase your art. here’s the email: ­­­­­­_______. please consider it. you have serious talent.”

“an art gallery doyoung. an exhibition in an art gallery.”

tears fell down your face

this was an amazing opportunity

a dream came true

“i can come over tonight and we can email them.”

you just nodded your head

tbh you were still in shock

this was a huge opportunity

“so y/n. i know there is a lot going on right now but I can’t wait. will you be my girl/boy-friend?

“doyoung of course. can you help me take this stuff back to my apartment then if you want we can go grab something to eat?”

he nodded happily and grabbed the sculpture

THE END

goodness gracious that took a while

I hope you enjoyed reading this 5 thousand-word trainwreck

I know some of the stuff about creating sculptures isn’t accurate, but I need to make it work with the timeline I had in my head

I hope it didn’t bother anyone too much

but yeah

thanks for reading

also I didn’t proofread this so hopefully there aren’t many mistakes

if there are just message me and I’ll fix them

also also here’s a sequel type thing that doesn’t have to be seen as a sequel umm it isn’t as good as this one but here ya go

·         

[silenthillmutual]

I don't know if you're the right person to tell this to but I think my mom's emotionally abusive. She gets mad whenever I get upset at her and gaslights me(probably??) whenever I call her out. I tried to tell her that she never apologized for hurting my feelings and she responded with, "I don't have to apologize to you" and it just made me feel worse. My family's Christian and all but I'm scared to tell the pastor(or anyone) because I don't want her to get mad at me. Do you have any advice?

I guess I’m a decent source for that, and I’ve got enough spoons today to answer this! 

I’ll be honest with you, a parent reacting with anger whenever you get upset with them is never a good sign. The “I don’t have to apologize to you” response is definitely emotionally abusive, especially if it’s not a reaction in a vacuum; anything as an isolated incident is understandable since we all make mistakes, but this doesn’t sound like a one-off thing. 

I had a couple of friends help me through being gaslit myself; here are a few articles on the topic, all of which are pretty brief:

Were You Born Under the Gaslight?

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

a resource post from r/RaisedByNarcissists

I’m not a psychologist in any capacity, but having been through it myself and having sat down and watched a film adaptation from where the term hails, here’s a sort of brief rundown of some things gaslighters will do to their victims:

making attempts to isolate you (from friends, from family members, etc; ex, excessive monitoring of your communications with friends to the point of taking your phone or computer so you can’t contact them, although this may be done subtly)

telling you that you have traits or attributes that do not feel or sound like things you do (ex, telling you that you are “forgetful” or “tend to lose things” even when you are not a forgetful person)

accusing you of lying, whether directly or indirectly (ex. asking, “what did you do with x thing?”, not believing you when you say you haven’t seen it; then when you find it, saying something to the effect of, “so you did know where it was”)

saying things with emotion and then denying there is any emotion behind their words (ex. if they say something to you in an angry way and when you say, “don’t be angry,” they say, “i’m not angry” and look at you like you’re crazy)

making you look bad in front of others (this can be making you look like a jerk, making you look inconsiderate, making you look foolish, like a buzzkill, etc.)

taking on a tone to imply that you are scaring them, even when you have not done or said anything out of the ordinary (if you’re thinking to yourself, “i didn’t even have any emotion behind this, i didn’t even sound angry” and they’re reacting like they’re afraid you’re going to hit you? that’s gaslighting)

whiplash mood swings and honeymooning - quickly going from being angry at you to putting on a convincing happy act in front of others; “honeymooning” is when, after a period of abuse, they start to act really nice and considerate towards you, making you think that they’ve changed, or maybe they do one really nice thing for you as a way to “make up” for their behavior (this never lasts, don’t buy it.)

turning themselves into the victim of every situation (guilt tripping you, especially in situations where you are telling them that they have hurt you. parents really love this one; it’s the “oh so i’m a horrible parent” comeback to any time you’ve ever said “this really hurt my feelings”)

infantalizing you (another parental favorite)

upsetting you in public, covertly, so that only you are aware of what they have said/done

threatening you with institutionalization

Another big one that I don’t think I mentioned here because it’s not one that came up in the film is outright denying that something ever happened. We tend to assume that’s something we’d be able to catch outright, but the truth of the matter is that their lies start out small and they do all of these things above & more for the sake of putting you off balance and confusing you so that by the time their lies get to the level of things you should be able to look at and say plainly, “that’s not true,” you’ve gotten to the point where you feel like you can’t trust your own memory or judgement of things. 

I’ll give a couple examples because the list of potential things they could lie about goes between fairly small stuff to extreme stuff:

my mother claimed once that she was never on her phone during dinner

my mother claiming she’d never seen movies that not only did i remember her commentary on, but i’m pretty sure one of them we actually saw in theatres

her claiming i’d never told her things that i most definitely had told her before

combined with that one: lying about the last time we’d had contact; right before i cut off all contact with her i was able to actually screenshot the dates and times of the last time we’d spoken and send them to her

lying about actual historical facts; in my mother’s case: refusing to acknowledge that ABA had, since its inception, used aversives and was abusive in practices, was the foundation of the conversion therapy movement. i sent her screenshot and link proofs of this as well and she did not appreciate it

she also claimed that she never threatened to kick me out of the house and claimed that i promised her i would start therapy before starting HRT - neither of which are accurate or even remotely believable (you really think i’d up and move w two weeks notice halfway across the country if i hadn’t been kicked out? i have to laugh.)

Another one that did not really get shown well in the film but that I believe i’ve read somewhere and have personal experience with, is that they like to keep you traumatized. It keeps you in a state of like... uncertainty, I guess you could say. It keeps you from feeling completely lucid or in control of things, and more likely to need help and depend on them for continued support. They may also be likely to mess with your head in other ways, like with the use of drugs - and I don’t just mean illegal ones; parents who have control over your medication and make sure you take it do have to potential to keep you up on medications you don’t actually need as a method of control. (Both of these can actually be seen in use in the film Midsommar w/ the suicide ritual being a method of continued trauma and the constant drug use being...obvious. I’m sure it gets used in other places too but that was the first one to come to mind, and Aster does a really good job of showing how effective that shit is.)

I don’t really know what other religions rules are like when it comes to confidentiality. I was raised Catholic, and there was a certain understanding about priests and ethics that pretty much went that unless you had a warrant (and on top of that, a damn good reason; iirc there have been plenty who don’t even testify under oath) they weren’t to tell anyone what you told them in confidence. If you know anything about their ethics regarding that or even feel that you can ask them safely about it, it could be a good place to start if you feel that church community is one where you feel safe. 

The biggest roadblock tbh is age and...idk how else to put this other than status? If you’re a minor there is, unfortunately, not a lot you can do to get away from her or get her to stop - especially if you’re in a situation where she’s really your only parent. Which is sort of what I meant by status; do you have another parent or step-parent, sibling, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc  you feel you could talk to about it? 

I really wish I could recommend school guidance counselors, but I’m not altogether sure they’re equipped with the right materials to help you out there. That being said, if you have a family member that you can trust to help you find a therapist outside of school, that would also be a really good resource; whether you’re an adult still living within that contact or a minor who can’t get away at the moment, a therapist can help you come up with some coping techniques to deal with it until you can safely get away. I’d suggest looking for one who specializes in trauma or in PTSD, esp if they have c-PTSD listed (the ‘c’ is for complex, which is a proposed addition(??) to PTSD that would separate a singular traumatic event from an ongoing traumatic situation like living in war zones, being a POW, domestic violence, etc). PsychologyToday has a search function for finding accredited therapists in your area that should list their specialties, credentials, and insurance plans they take. (And if you’re asked why you need one, honestly, extrapolate on a minor issue. Like tbh you could just say body image issues.) Therapists are bound by license-revoking ethics not to tell anyone what you discuss in therapy unless you are going to hurt yourself or someone else.

[If you feel you’re being monitored too closely at home and don’t have a way to get this information at school, I suggest asking a reference librarian to help you out. A lot of public libraries will have community resource information, and if they don’t have flyers or brochures out, reference librarians’ entire jobs are to help you access information whether that’s in the library or in the community! That’s why I work in LIS, lol.]

Other than that the two big pieces of advice I have are:

Build up a support network outside your family. If you feel you can’t trust them with this, or even if you’re worried about putting them in the middle of a difficult situation - and even if those aren’t concerns for you - it’s always good to have a support network that isn’t connected to the situation in some way. Most of my support network came from friends, a bulk of whom I knew from online, and from coworkers. The first person to tell me I was being gaslit was actually a coworker, who I talked to when I got kicked out and was shaken up about it. I had a p good relationship w my boss and all my coworkers there, so when I had to put in my two weeks’ notice I actually got an offer to stay with my boss in the event that the situation escalated, and also knew I could go and stay with my one of my best friends with their grandad, or their sister. In fact, right when that happened, my friends already had a kind of escape plan half-formed because things had just kind of been getting worse, and for almost a year now I’ve been living with my other best friend. Even if things never get to the point of you having to leave the house, just having people that you can rely on who will be on your side entirely is crucial to dealing with that kind of stress.

If you think or feel you may be getting gaslit - even if you’re thinking to yourself that you’re just blowing things out of proportion or that it’s “not that bad” (a lot of us go through that) - start keeping a journal of things your mother says to you. You don’t have to show anyone. Just keep it for yourself. It doesn’t even have to be anything important; like I said earlier, it can be as simple as off-handed comments about movies you’ve watched or appointments you’ve made or what have you. Write them down when they happen, date them, and then when she says something that you feel contradicts what you’ve already heard - you can fact-check it. You can also do this with screenshots if it’s over text or something, and if you think you can get away with secretly recording her on your phone that might help too. I don’t recommend telling her you’re doing this or pointing out when she’s been lying; in the event she doesn’t outright deny it she could flip it around to make herself the victim or spiral out of control and get worse - this is just for your peace of mind. The goal of gaslighting, to quote the movie, is to “systematically [drive] you out of your mind”. This would just be a way to reassure yourself that you’re not making it up, you didn’t forget, you’re not blowing things out of proportion. 

If you need anything more specific, feel free to let me know! I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it really just fucking sucks. But I believe you can make it! And there is an it - there’s an out, even if it’s hard to get to or takes long.